moved (again)

but rest assured, I'll be back (:

http://justmiche.wordpress.com

AWESOME!

THE BEST THING I SAW TODAY!
and raffy said that they kick _______________ butt anytime!










AND THIS KID IS JUST SO ADORABLE!

please stop treating me as if I were invisible.
And to think that I was always there to help you.

You apologised for neglecting me and you said that things would be better.
But I guess that's not the case.
I guess I was just a replacement for you.

Well, I guess I'll just leave it as it is.

It's a Girl Thing

It's that time of the month.
And I'm over-emotional this time round.

But there are other factors contributing to it.
And I cried in 3B just now.
But thanks Rafi and Khim for being there.

Forgive me people, it'll be over soon.

Like, Seriously?

I don't know what to blog.

Oh. Happy National Day.

Had a lazy weekend. Barely went out except for Saturday. But it's good as I have a totally packed week ahead. No time for last minute slot ins. Can't have imprompt meet ups either.

I still don't know what to blog.

I'll blog when I know what to blog.

Beautifully Imperfect

I have been thinking of these 2 words the whole day.

Why?
It's because of the way the world is now.
People are expecting everyone around them to be perfect.
We should strive for perfection BUT still accept the fact for that we will never be perfect.

It totally disgusts me when people say things like this:

"Eh, just now I went to the toilet and person who was in the cubicle next to me was shitting and the shit very smelly?"

My response to this person: So you don't shit if you do shit you're shit is not smelly?

How can we expect a person to be perfect when we ourselves are not perfect?
Humans are imperfect. That is the fact that we have to accept.

We are all different in terms of looks, personality, strengths and weaknesses.
And sometimes this is so irritating, but variety is what spices up life :)

Friends Forever, Enemies Never, It's All Bullshit

I had a lot of thoughts to post, but I don't know how to put them in proper words.

But I will start off with this:
I LOVE MICHELLE TAN SHU YU EVEN THOUGH SHE'S AN IDIOT AND A FAG WHO CALLED ME A FAG! BUT I STILL LOVE HER OKAY?

And, I had my first meal of the day with aishah (some uber tasty KFC breakfast) and my last meal of the day with aishah (maggi mee goreng!)

I brought poker cards to school today. I totally adore my teammates today. Because they are some crazy people. We played Dai Dee and we played heart attack and getttttttty was being an idiot. Faci was being cool today. I like her ALOT!

Yesterday, I think I shocked myself and the others around me by the way I reacted to something that happened. But hopefully the air will clear soon and that it was a lesson learnt.
BTW, shaheedah gave me 50 points for it and getty gave me 100 points, if you know what I mean.

I have some print screened pictures to post but I'm lazy to, but maybe next time (:

To chayzx: I hope you're okay now. Know that I love you a lot!

To my curry girl: Please take care of yourself. We're worried for you.

To Dilly: miss your laughter my dear boy. Please don't get insomnia and things are gonna be so much better soon. You deserve better, much better (:

Edited:
I realized today that I am finally over IT!
And after I overcame IT, everything seemed to fall into place.
I feel good.
And I couldn't have done it without my lovely, awesome and supportive friends (:
*BIG HUG*

Just let me be me

This year has been a bitch to me so far.
so many things I've gone through and am not getting over yet.
I feel like really no one understands and no once cares.


I think I'm going on a hiatus.

My Superman (:

my superman and I in sem 1 (:

He's my superman because he's simply one of my best friends.

Happy 18th Birthday Syaf!

I'm so blessed to have you in my life. For always being there for me when I feel like shit and Hafiz does not help much. For always making me laugh when I tell you that I am about to cry and for always making sure I am feeling okay after that. You're definitely one of the people who make my life worthwhile (: And whenever I see you around in school, I feel happy because I know that I have an awesome friend! Thanks for accepting me for who I am and for being my friend! Love ya Syaf! And I do believe that sooner or later, the right girl will come along.

Love you lots and lots and lots and lots! And I will give you a surprise on Thursday! Wait for it!

Unproductive

Today was such an unproductive day for me.
I woke up at 2 pm and studied for 30 mins and then used the laptop, trimmed my hair and dinner at granny's place. That's about it.

But anyways, lately life has been good.
With awesome friends and super fun classmates.
Though there are some issues going on in my life, I believe that everything will be okay soon.
And having God in my life makes everything better.

Hanging out with the Hope RP people for the past 2 Saturdays were fun too.
With all crap and nonsense coming out. Have I mentioned how much I love them?

Anyways, Replug's Arts Platter: Ignite Edition is this Tuesday at 5 pm at South Agora! Come and support okaysA definitely awesome week ahead (:

dear friend, you are dearly missed (:

I'll Be There

Watched MJ's Memorial Service on Wednesday.
I was so touched at the end when his daughter spoke.

I MISS SCHOOOL!!!
I MISS W54E!!!!
I MISS REPLUGIOS!!!

ahhhhhh....

hopefully I can see them later on in the day.

And danny, you better study for your UT!

MC/LOA

It's kind of ridiculous the way my mom is treating me right now.

When I told her about the number of cases in school 2 weeks ago, she told me I was being paranoid.
And now that I'm having a slight flu which is getting better by the way, she refuses to come near me and doesn't even allow my brother or sister to come near me.

This is so ridiculous and she doesn't even ask me how I feel. And of course I cry. What kind of mother does this to you?

It's not my fault that I fall sick at the wrong time.

But anyways, I'm missing school so terribly.
My classmates, the Replugios, Syaf and Hafiz.
It sucks, seriously.

Lean On Me.

Went to the Esplanade with Replugios after school yesterday evening to watch our dearest Dilly perform at Beats and Breaks 2. He was damn cool and he brought the care bear on stage :) After that we headed to Marina Square to slack and we just lepak-ed. I left after awhile to look for someone, which did not go very well but I'm just gonna let it go.

Since Prayer Meeting was still going on, I decided to go and join them and it that short period of time, I felt really refreshed. It feels nice to be in God's presence again. And seeing the faces of the RP unit just made my day even better. And, seeing old familiar faces made me smile even more.

Anyways, when I got back home, some stupid irritating stuff happened and I was really damn pissed and I was soo tired from not sleeping well the past few days. And thanks to Eve who cheered me up.

And last night, I was sharing to Sayang and Shaheedah about some stuff that I've been going through and I'm so glad to have them in my life. Altough my day ended real bad, they managed to cheer me up before going to sleep. And since I read SOMEONE'S blog and that person sort of needed cheering up, I decided to send a random text to that person. Hopes it cheers him up some way or another (:

Now I know that I don't have to out on a facade because I have awesome friends that are always going to be there for me. The love, care and concern they show and give highly overpowers the hurt that I have felt or that I am going to feel. I don't need to have best friends, just true ones (:

Alrights, gonna go get ready to go out. Long but exciting day ahead. Ending off with this pic:

Danny boy and me (:

Hypocrisy

I have so much at the back of my mind but I don't know how to start this post.
I don't even know if I spelt the title correctly. But who cares.

Why is it that I am so firm in my stand in certain things is because I don't want to be a hypocrite.
I don't want to do things half-heartedly so that's why there has been conflicts of interests between me and others nowadays.

Having settled the first tug-of-war, I feel that the second one is coming.

I dun want to have to feel guilty for choosing to hang out with a certain group more than another group. If you guys really are my friends, you know that I have my reasons for making certain decisions. It hurts when you guys say certain things. I need to get this off my chest, gonna go and talk to someone about it now.

Anyways, Replugios have been invading Twitterville!
And here's a glimpse of the crap that goes on there:

it's just different now.

Cures for Monday Blues

This is what I did in school today:



CAMWHORE with classmates...


WEBCAM with sayang...

VIDEO CALL with syam!
(and in the background I'm chatting with Dilly!!!)
This is how I cured my Monday blues....

Except for one thing...

Ridiculous.

Shit happened today.
Like a lot of shit.

1) King of Pop Died. (R.I.P)
2) RP had 18 cases of H1N1 this morning.
3) Within one day, it's 31 cases.
4) A and P faci gave me a ridiculous grade. I got a C. LONG STORY!
5) School made a typo error and said that my class had one confirmed case. Caused and hour of panic and paranoia in my class.
6) had a bad hair day, like really bad.
7) no deck today, but did lepak for awhile.
8) No IG or gatherings at 3B, still.

Hopefully, the night will be good.
Going to meet slyboy now!

Choices

Somethings have been weighing me down for a while and I feel that there is so much pressure on me. Too much for me to handle. People are expecting way too much for me and therefore I have to make a decision.

2 groups of people, want more from me. And both are somehow trying to make me choose over one.

"It's like being in a tug-of-war, and I'm the rope."
This is how I explained my situation to chayzx and natellehcim.

There is only so much I can handle.
I have somehow come to a conclusion and made a decision, made my choice.
I know that people are going to try to make me change this, but I stand firm in my decision.

I know that my heart is right with God, so please don't judge me based on my decision, on my choices.

I need space.

Bottle.

I thought it was ridiculous to cry over such things so I hold back my tears.
But I talked to Chayzx and she said that it's not silly to cry over things that make you unhappy.
Thanks Chayzx <3

I need things to distract me and fill up my time.
That's what I've got friends for (:

Save.

I need to save myself from the hurt that will most probably eventually come.
Probably just not the right time, but I know that everything is perfect in God's timing.
So I'm gonna give up. I'm gonna distant myself.
It's not gonna be easy but I know my girlfriends will help me (:


But thanks for being an awesome friend. Appreciate everything.

And this part of the post is dedicated to michtans!
Thanks dear for everything.
For always listening to me and being here for me and for advising me on everything from A to Z. I thank God for putting such a blessing in my life as a reminder that He is here with me. You're my Godsent. Let's walk/run and complete this race together (: LOVE YOU NATELLEHCIM!


jiayou miche(qua)! You can overcome anything with God!

Girlfriends (:

I always thought that guys would make better friends because they don't really bitch that much. And up till the beginning of this year, my good and close friends were all guys with an exception of a few girls.

But up till recently, I've made a few good girlfriends.
Today I was talking to Aishah and Dhivv about my mood swings and they really cheered me up. I love them.

And just now, I found out that michtans and chayzx were experiencing the same problems I'm experiencing too and I really thank God for them in my life.

I think that having such awesome friends is awesome. haha.

Thanks girls for everything, you guys make my life worthwhile ((:

Tired.

I'm feeling so cranky and tired now.
Totally affected my mood.
And I felt so useless in the lab just now.
Frankly speaking, I feel that my standard is not up to the rest of the class.

I met Maman just now and we talked and I feel so happy that we're still able to talk things out with each other. That Kiddo ar..

Oh wells,
Hope my day starts to pick up (:

cheMISERY!

I love Aishah (: and Dhivv too!

Having cheMISERY now.
It sucks balls man.
I hate it and the internet in school today sucks balls tooo.

But I'm happy to see my classmates again though.
Alrights, we'll update more with pics on my holidays soon!

In Check

It's 3.15 am and I can't sleep.
Why?

Well, it's because i went to sleep at 10 pm and woke up at 1030 pm not tired anymore.

I have a lot of things on my mind right now.
A few changes going on in my life that really worry me.

But the most important change is that I am now taking up a new group and I am scared out of my wits. Like seriously. I mean, at first I was all excited and stuff but just when Hope RP2 split, a lot of other things come up.

e.g. My family comes to Singapore, tests to study for, serving MM for the special services and some personal problems.

Seriously, ever since last week, after something happened, I really had second thoughts about whether I should take up this leadership role, whether I was fit to take up this leadership, whether I was willing to commit to this new leadership role.

And then, i thought of the people in this group. I thought of Tings, Melody, Cheryl and Melissa and I realized the importance of my commitment to them. Not just to them, but to Emily's group too. To the whole girls' group. The CG covenant.

If I love God, I will commit myself to His work and His people.
I know I have to constantly check in with God, to be in step with Him.

Oh boy, this is going to be a tough but exciting journey.

On another note, this week has been quite good to me so far.
Got a new pair of shoes yesterday and had guitar lessons with Bernie on monday.
Been hanging out with Replugios too!

And later on, Romantico Boys will be making their debut performance. Hopefully I can sneak in to watch!

And lastly, thanks Danny for chatting with me in the weeee hours of the morning.

Replug Camp 2009

maxxie boy and me!
the only personal pic from replug camp.

camp was some awesome shit.
it's like the funnest, funniest, most adventurous and most awesome camp ever.
Games were fun. Seniors did a great job in preparing the games and Adam was hilarious.
I was kinda blown away by the band competition because the newbies were really good.
The last night of camp was the greatest. Had candle light dinner next to the pond and it was supposed to have a loungy feeling but we ended up forming a dance circle. Haha. Who says you need to go to clubs to dance and have fun? All you need is a big space, loud music and fun and awesome people!

BREAK THE STAGE was crazy! Filmed down the whole thing. It was friggin' funny too.

I'm really thankful for this camp, for the awesome new friends I made and the crazy fun we had.

Currently suffering from post-camp syndrome.

To a dear friend:
I'm not a professional counsellor and I give crappy advice.
But I promise to be there for you and to help you along the way.
You're not alone at all :)

Doubtful?

Currently having camp.
It's the last day and everyone is asleep while I'm awake because I was asleep while everyone was awake.

Some stuff really screwed up my mood on Monday.
And I was really damn pissed. It's like, why can't I get the benefit of the doubt.
But I know that there is something I have to do about it.

And now,
I am having some doubts about this decision I made.
I was quite firm on going against it but something I can't seem to make up my mind.
This feeling really sucks. And I feel that there's nothing I can do about it, no one I can talk to about it.

I feel weird.
And I seriously feel like crap now and I know that it's definitely not because of my lack of sleep.

Life was, is, and will always be a bitch.

Heroes

Tomorrow, my Sunday School kids will be heading up to Malaysia for their annual Family/Childrens' camp.

How I wish I could be there, but I will definitely be there next year.

Dear God, I pray that as Your little children go for camp, they will learn from Your word on how to be a Hero for You. Though they may be young and small, I pray that their little hearts would be open for you to bless them. I pray for Aunty Yung, that may You just annoint her with Your wisdom, Your strength and Your power to teach the little ones well! May you bless Celestine and Shun Rong with strength as they go and help Aunty Yung as well. Bless everyone with a safe journey up! In Jesus' name, Amen!

Tucky Wong Wong Wong

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR TUCKY WOOOOONG!
I've known this idiot since primary school while we were in the same CCA.
And due to some unforeseen (well, not really unforeseen) circumstances, we ended up in the same sec 3 class and became close friends in sec 4.

Thanks Tucky Wong for being an awesome friend!

Sitting next to Lai Mun now and she's blogging as well.

Okays.
Back to concentrate in class.
I'm serious!

He is Strong Enough

Strong Enough
by Stacie Orrico

As I rest against this cold, hard wall
Will you pass me by?
Will you criticize me as I sit and cry?
I had fought so hard and thought that all my battles had been won
Only to find the war has just begun

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

Will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime?
Is there anyway to be made whole again?
If I'm healed,renewed, and find forgiveness find the strength I've never had
Will my scars forever ruin all God's plan?

Is He not strong enough?
Is He not pure enough?
To break me, pour me out, and start again
Is He not brave enough?
To take one chance on me
Please can I have one chance to start again?

He took my life into his hands and it turned it all around
In my most desperate circumstance
It's there I've finally found

That You are strong enough
That You are pure enough
To break me, pour me out and start again
That You are brave enough
To take one chance on me
Oh Thank You for my chance to start again
----------------------------------------

Came across this song on my playlist while studying yesterday.
And I started to meditate on the lyrics and I realised how true it IS that my God is strong, pure, and brave enough to take the chance to give me a new life.

Just some updates on my life.
I'm currently in the coolest IG in school- REPLUG :)
long story about why I am in though but I am so happy luhs!

Class is all good.
My group had a picnic during 3rd meeting today.
But we're going to be split up next week =(
but on the other hand, maybe I'll finally get an A for cheMisery. haha.
Just kidding.

Had my first UT today.
Hopefully I'll get at least a B.
Class was hyper just before the UT and we started guessing what letter will start of the code.
And I guessed J and it was right! Awesome?

And the best thing so far is that the Adrian and Aaron are here!
Hung out with them over the weekends, went swimming and a bit of shopping.
It's kinda cool how we're all growing up so fast, but that childish playful side of us is still there.
It's like, all of have hit the big TWO OH and we're still doing stupid things at the pool. I'm so going to maximize my time with them! Upcoming activities with them include paint balling, reverse bungee (omg, I can't believe that I was the one who suggested it.), Monster and Aliens 3D, Jurong east swimming complex, Sentosa, Scuba Diving. OMG! My 2 weeks are going to be sooo packed!

Alrights.
Going to sleeeeep soon!
LAB tomorrow!

Stand.

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you stand
-Rascal Flatts, Stand

I'm starting to get back on my feet already. Thanks to all the encouragement from the people around me, the constant care and concern and the ever willing listening ears. For keeping me company so that I don't think of the ongoings.

I even thank God for the super tiring and long and tedious rehearsal yesterday because at least I was doing something and not letting my mind idle. I did not cry yesterday and today which is a good sign.

I thank God for the forever creating havoc Daphne for skipping her lectures to come and visit the RP people. Yesterday was the first time that I really shared how I really felt about the current rough patch in my life and she was there to encourage me and accompany me throughout some of my second break yesterday.

I thank God for Lian Jie for being a Big Brother to all of us. For always making sure that we're okay and for always assuring us that he is there for us.

I thank God for michtans. For her prayer on that night, for her constant encouragement, for listening to me complain and rant and my whinings and helping me to stay strong with God throughout this whole rough patch.

I thank God for my friends in school who always unknowingly have a way to make me smile and laugh even when I'm at my lowest peak.

I can go on and on and on about the many blessing that God has showered upon me in this past week, but I am kind of too tired to type it all out.

On another note, I am really glad that the 2 week break is coming. I have been under some tremendous emotional, mental and physical stress lately that if I don't get a break soon, I will just break down. The pimple breakout on my chin is the evidence of my stress level.

UTs are coming too fast.

I need to study hard.
I need to balance my time.
I need strength, wisdom and faith.

I need God.

eternally

I couldn't bring myself to go for the cremation ceremony yesterday.
And at that time, I had a very nauseous feeling in my stomach.
But thank God for my classmates who helped me to keep my mind occupied with other things.

After awhile,
I started to sense some sort of joy in my heart.
And at that moment, I knew that it had to be the Big Guy up there who gave me the peace of mind, peace of heart.

Hezekiah Chen Jia Wei is now with Him.
Eternally with Him.
Safe from harm and all worries.

Lian Jie told me this yesterday:

					den dun keep thinkin abt jiawei death le...
					he din wan to see us like tat de...
					tat why he always put a smile in front of us rite?

There were times that I started to tear when I had an idle mind.
But I know that life goes.

Chen Jia Wei, you'll always be remembered, never forgotten :D

neighbours in heaven :)

When I got the news,
I was in shock, total shock. I kept walking in and out in and out of the classroom.
I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if it was true.
I asked Lian Jie, he forwarded me the email, and then and there, I broke down in class.
It was just so sudden. too sudden.

sitting at the wake yesterday, I couldn't help but hope that it was a dream, a nightmare, and that my alarm would soon ring and I would be woken up and everything would be okay.

Unfortunately, it was so real. So so real.
I thought that it would never happen to me, to us.
It's the kind of thing that you only read about in the news or you hear about on tv, in shows and movies.

But it did.

It was a wake up call for me, a reality check.
And it really reminded me:

I am not just responsible for my own life, but I'm responsible for the lives of the people around me. But I know that there is no point in regretting now because it had passed.

"Surely life wasn't made to regret"

but somehow, I wish that I could turn back time and do more for him.
but I guess now, I have to work on moving on and working harder and pressing on towards the goal.

Thanks friends for being there for me. For the hugs and prayers and ice chocolate.

And to HRP, we'll all get through this together, amen?

Chen Jia Wei,
Your smile and your laughter will always be remembered by us.
You will always be in our hearts.
Have fun in heaven and anticipate our arrival!
I'm glad that we're going to be neighbours in heaven :)

Treasures

Today I learnt something new.

People REALLY matter to God.




W54E,
Thanks for the care and concern and the hugs and the prayers :)
I love you guys!

Carol's Party

This week went by really slowly.

Anyways, went for Carol's BBQ yesterday.
Had a blast and lots of laugh.
Food was good too!
I was nice and helped people to peel prawns!

Alrights, gonna get charged up for another long and tiring week of school!

My Glorious

My Glorious - Delirious?/Hillsong

The world's shaking with the love of God
Great and glorious, let the whole Earth sing
And all you ever do is change the old from new
People we believe that...

(Chorus)
God is bigger than
The air I breathe
The world we'll leave
God will save the day 
and all will say
My glorious!

Clouds are breaking, heaven's come to earth
Hearts awakening let the church bells ring
And all you ever do is change the old to new
People we believe that...

My Source

Currently sitting at the E1 canteen alone because Sly's "bed would not let go of him."
(This idiot is getting more and more creative with his excuses.)

I just saw something that made me feel uncomfortable. But I shall not judge people.

Yesterday's CG was an awesome one.
And God really spoke to me through the worship.
And now I know that my God is greater than my insecurities, greater than my problems, greater than anything in the world.

Alrights. Shall go buy some food then off to class later!!!

Cheerios!

When I Look Into the Mirror

I was thinking of things again last night.

Tossing and turning in bed because I felt too weighed down to sleep.
And what do I do?
I cry. Because it's 2 am in the morning and I don't know who to turn to.

I always question myself: Why am I so soft-hearted? Why do I let people walk over me all the time? Why is it that I care too much about others that I forget to care about myself? I was just really upset.

It's like, I am angry with people but I don't dare to speak out and I bottle everything in.
I just need a break. A getaway.

And, my stomach hurts now.

Whines and Complaints

Some people are so.... errrghs.

Make small problems seem so big. Making a mountain out of a molehill and even worse, proclaiming it to the whole world.

Oh wells.

I was really in a super super down mood since last night and I cried myself to sleep last night. Used tissues were all over my bed when I woke up.

But I thank michtans for today. For accompanying me the whole day and for listening to me rant and complain.

Yea, I'm hungry ar.

Haha.
Alright, gna prepare for CG tomorrow!

helpless

in situations like these, I feel so helpless.
there's nothing I can do.

I feel like, I'm not doing my best but emotional and physical tiredness is holding me back from giving more. I give up so much, I get nothing back, not even a bit.

speechless, just speechless.

I'm Back!

Hello people!

I missed using blogger!
Will redo my blogskin when I have time!
And I will occasionally go back to livejournal if I feel like it.
Anyways, I submitted my PP scope today and it was approved.

this awesome class!

and my loves!