Goodbye Blogger!

Dear Blogger!
You have been a great ranting place for me for the past 4/5 years.
thanks for everything.
but now it's time for me to move on.
but i'm still keeping this place for memories' sake.

till then: CLICK HERE!!!!

changes

i'm so scared of changes.
yet, everything around me is changing, well, sort of.
my relationships/friendships with people are changing, and i'm afraid that I may be losing some close friends. My family is changing, people are changing, circumstances and situations, and is less than 6 months, I'll be changing classes again.

for the past week, a lot of "what ifs" and flashbacks have been whirring through my head.

change change change...
but one thing that will never change is my unchanging God.
And just with that, it gives me so much more assurance.

yea. so it's past 12 and it's shivv's bday!!
happy birthday babe!
really glad to have someone like you in my class this sem. if not, i would probably just die. hahas!! love ya babe! thnks for being there for me and getting crazy and bitch with me! enjoy your day!!

so today during break 2, me, shivv and labin went to 711 for lunch and we sat there. and den we observed the people walking by and tried to think what they were thinking and tried to guess their names. it was lameeeeeeee. but funnnnnn. and the cake was oh so yummy!

let's see.. u knw wad. not matter how sad or depressed im feeling, this class here always picks my mood up. i love ya w45l! and hafiz and ika and syaf, i still love you guys too!

i just needed some time alone just now. but thanks people for cheering me up =D

finally! group picture!

anyways.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAFIZ SAYANG!
18 already ar... grow up kays! hahas.
Really blessed to have such a great friend like you in my life. I know that recently you have been scolding me and stuff and I got pissed at you but I know that it is all for my own good and I know that you care for me very much. You're really such a great friend and words can't say how much I want to thank you for being there for me all the time when I'm feeling down or sad, for bearing all my PMS and temper moments. Really really thanks a lot! Your girlfriend is so lucky to have a guy like you. And I am soo lucky to have a *ahem* best friend like you! Love ya Hafiz! Thanks for everything, for being my friend, for accepting me for who I am. You rock la!
HUGS!

and sooo..
i think syaf almost wanted to kill me today.
cause i forgot to bring sayang's present!!!!
and i wanted to message syaf... but... I MESSAGED HAFIZ INSTEAD!
zzzz.. and hafiz replied.
and I was laughing to myself in the train.
sorry hafiz and sorry syaf!!! hahas.


this was taken during break 2 when all i wanted to do was got to 711 to get my seventeen magazine and in then we were out of class for 3o mins. Kept getting distracted! heeheee... totally love the pic. But missing shivv. Yups. Labin was getting pissed at us cause we kept talking about girl stuff and we were all gathered at my place looking at nat's seventeen magazine before i decided to go and buy my own. yea! they totally make me happy lahs!


and these are the friendship bands we got yesterday cause of my random retardedness. lijie and shivv have one too! cool right!

ok.. soo.
i think it was the milo i drank, my stomach started to hurt just when third meeting started. went to the toilet 5 times. it was bad bad bad. and plus, tt feeling plus hungry feeling, it's even worse. but im better now although i have not eaten dinner. no intention of eating either. and one more thing (this is such a random post)

oh, and just now me and rahman caught up for awhile as i happened to meet him on my way to meet syaf and yes la scandal, u cut hair still cute lahs!! hahahahhahas!

on a less random side:
Thanks des, yeshen and james for encouraging me and for your care and concern this week. and Darryl too! and Shivv! and ika and syaf and hafiz!

and you know what, I'm feeling happier already. =D

nights people and loves!

it's only tuesday and I am trying to deal with changes and setbacks and also finding some stuff out.
to know that so many thoughts and emotions and feelings have been flying through my mind and heart for the past 2/3 days which cause me to have a lack of sleep and appetite. And not forgetting my bronchitis which causes me to not sleep well too.

And so many things are happening now, that is really putting me to tests of friendships. But I felt so much better after hanging out with labin, shivv and lijie!

Sayang's Bday tomorrow!
and I am going to sleep now!

AND AND AND.. whatever is happening now, I know that I will get through it!

this change is just way too big and too weird for me to handle.
how how how?
i dunno how to deal with it so i'll just try to ignore it.
and every time i think about, i get really nervous cause I feel like i'm gna lose another close friend sooner or later.

im starting to get pissed at almost all the guys.

i really wish to be left alone.

other than that.
class was super duperly fun today.
we were so havoc-ed? (is there such word?)

and today I realised that I was not the only one having such problems.
thanks shivv and labin for the talk we had just now.
cheer up guys! hate to see you guys like that!

so now how?

life's a bitch.

but not when you have the greatest and sweetest friends around who will put aside everything just to make sure you are okay.

who will try their best to do all that are within their means to make sure that you are safe and that you are happy all the time.

"Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

how true, how true.
and my friends have proved this.
i love you guys, really really love you.
and you guys know who you are.

thanks for standing by me throughout this really tough period. through all the breakdowns and depressing stuff. I really feel so much closer to you guys now. And even though things are changing, I know that you guys will always be there for me no matter what.

ika and hafiz and syaf, thanks for everything. really!

step by step, kick by kick, poke by poke, im gna get through this!

im sorry.

i have no time for anything nowadays.
it's just so stressful.

breakbrokedown.

good night.

Laughlines

eI just simply adore reading postsecret. I think that it is just so fun and interesting to read other peoples' secrets. But that is not the point of this blog post.

The point is: Looks are not everything in our life. Even the most beautiful girl or the hottest guy in the World may be the most lonely and most depressed person. The important thing is that we keep ourselves happy and just be ourselves. To know that no one will ever be alone in this world because there will always be a someone or someones out there who care for you.

Bottom line is: Smile people! You may feel lonely but you know that you'll never be alone.

I finally let everything out this morning.
So many things have happened this week that really put me in a spot.
And I really held on strong, I held back my tears and everything.
And this morning, I just could not hold them back anymore.
So... I ran to the toilet and just hid in the cubicle and cried for 5 minutes.
And after that, syaf started to cheer me up and everything was much much better.
and thanks shivv, for comforting me too =D

Hafiz and Ika and Syafiq, you three have no idea how much I treasure you guys and thanks for being there for me through this tough week. Love ya guys!

- my stomach still hurts, i'm gna rest soon.

i did something really dumb today.
and it was kind of dangerous.

sorry sayang and ika, i promise not to worry you guys like tt again. I LOVE YOU GUYS LIKE SO SO SO SO MUCH! thanks for your care and concern. and syaf, I love you too luhs! hahas.

I got an A.
But no apology.
But let the past be the past, let bygones be bygones.

Class is fun today. As per usual. Really helps me to take my mind off things.
Jing Hao was irritating me, so I told him this: i've got 2 slippers: one to stuff in your mouth and one to hit your head.
Enjoyed today's lesson =D

UT was tough man.
Omgzzzzz....

Leading worship later in CG. I am so excited you know XD Heees.

Loves and misses people XDD

almost punched *HER face today.
so insensitive lahs.
but I made my stand already.

but I am so disappointed in myself.
why couldn't I just stand up to her on the spot.
why was I such a coward.
why was I so afraid.
whatever happened to courage.

but I know that God is molding to become a better and stronger Christian for Him.
and thanks deng, qians, jaz and sly <3

*and still, im getting over it.

sorry for the emotional post.
needed to get it out and I felt much better after that.

and best of all, I found comfort in my God after worshipping Him and playing my guitar.

I found comfort in You.

I'll be okay soon people, I promise =D

those words

to imagine that it took me so long to realize that you didn't really care, i don't know.
and i called you my best friend.

and to know that you are not understanding of me.
i was feeling so down and all you could say were those few words.

I may be strong, but I do have feelings too.
I feel that I have wasted so much time on you and I feel that all I did was worth nothing to you.

You have no idea how much those word hurt.
It was like a sword piercing through my heart.

You really have no idea,
And I really thought that you were different from the others.

Those words, they brought tears to my eyes.
After such a long time, I feel like crying.


On a lighter note, I totally love my classmate so much. Unknowingly, they really made me happy.

Hoiliday Week

In the end, my holiday didn't turn out to be a jam-packed week.
but I still really enjoyed the rest I got.
Tuesday we celebrated our dear Lynn's Birthday at Costa Sands Downtown East. And by fate, my dearest mel was in the room one door away from us =D

we met this little boy during the bbq. He was the most adorable thing ever.

watching sunset with jaz and nigel.

didn't manage to get any sleep at all and slept in total 20 hours when I got home. And was down with slight food poisoning which led me to cancel "class" outing on wed night and miss CG steamboat on thursday. Friday's outing was cancelled too due to lack of people being able to go. But oh wells, another time =D

Service yesterday was awesome and I decided to stay back later to fellowship as I have not been doing that for quite some time already. Left PS at 11 plus and was afraid that I was going to miss the last 265 home, but I prayed and my prayer was answered cause I managed to catch the very last bus home.

School's tomorrow..
And I encourage everyone to go and watch the movie: Freedom Writers.
It's one of the best movies I have ever watched.

till then,
BYE!