dun really feel like doing a 2006 flashback now..
but i really really wanna affirm alot of ppl who have made this year great!!!

shepherd: my meinu!!! thanks for everything. i know tt it has been a tough year for you, but yea, God i s with us through everything! although you have not shepherded me for a cao long time, but i have still learnt alot from you this past year. thanks for never giving up on me and for all ur encouragements tt touched me to tears. really! i love you alot! and i'm looking forward to a really great 2007 with you! let's reallly study hard for our upcoming Os ok? let's do it for Him!!

heidi: my mutton, my elmo, my bundle of joy, my sheep! i love you alot and i have seen you grow alot. I really thank you for being such an faithful, accountable and teachable sheep! (a FAT sheep!! hahas) God is gonna use you greatly in PHS!! be a shepherd soon and take care of God's flock!! Yepps!!! I feel so blessed to be your shepherd!!

kar: my SB!! athough we have only been SBs for a short period of time, i'm really glad that you're mine! thanks for always encouraging me, and your SMSes tt encourage me touch me to tears too! jiayou for St Nicks!! God is gg to use you greatly! thanks for always being there for me and we're gonna grow grow grow together!! yea!!! love you!

deng: MOMO!! thanks for all your encouragement!! really enjoy working with you in NEA2! it's a joy to be in the same team with you and also serving with you in the band! thanks for always letting me pour out my rah-ness to you and i know that i can always count on you to be there for me!! yepps! next year O levels ler! let's glorify God in our studied! we're gna do it together!! thanks for everything brother!!

keith: xiaohua!! you are definitely my God sent! thanks for always talking to me when i'm down and thanks for always being there when i needed someone to talk to! you're really a great friend to me and you have been a big blessing to me. really encouraged by your life and your convicition for mayflower! mayflower's gna grow yea!! jiayou keithie!! thanks for being a great friend and thanks for trusting me so much! thanks for everything brother!!

yining: you're another blessing to me. Have seen how you have grown and you have definitely grown alot. encouraged by your life and your heart to win the schools for God. we're gna do it together amen? Deyi will be won soon and very soon!! jiayou jiayou!!

jocelyn: though y9ou are not my sheep, i care for you alot, abt both your physical and spiritual life. you have grown alot and wad im most encouraged by, is tt you depended on God for your own growth. God's gonna use you greatly in PHS!! be a shepherd and take care of God's flock soon! jiayou!!!

NEband: desmond, andre, marcus, yushan, jon and pete.
desmond: hey brother! thanks for your endless encouragement tt has spurred me on in using my talents for God. you are someone who i can count on to encourage me when i'm down! let's jiayou for next year yea??

andre: small, irritating dude. But since tt night at istana park, i saw a side of you i've never seen before. Dun look down on yourself and never say tt ur lousy, cause in God's eyes, you are the best! really glad to be serving with you in the band although it has only been for a short period of time! continue improving ur drumming skills!! and let's see NESA soon ok? jiayou!

marcus: hahas. you just rock lahs. you never fail to lighten the atmosphere whenever we're just hanging out or jamming! thanks God for you brother! encouraged by how much you love your people! like i said to andre: jiayou for your NESA soon!! it will come to pass!!! jiayou!!

yushan: hey hey crazy one! really enjoy being crazy with you but most of all, thanks for teaching me so many things and for speaking into my life! there's so much more i want to learn from you! thanks for being such a caring sister. i really love you alot! thanks for everything!

pete and jon: enjoy serving with you guys in both zion and the band! u guys a re a great encourgemnet to me!! yay! pete, let's jiayou for the big fat Os next year ok??!!

*will continue later, im hungry now!

w00t!!! (hahaha. keith's slang is addictive.
bee di bee di do it like that!! (maybe i should just dedicate this post to keith!)
hahahahas... im quite high now lahs!

had a nice, calm day today.
started out by gg to singtel hello! shop at somerset by myself to uprade my plan and sim card. but apparently i have to be 18 to do so.
after that walked to centrepoint to get some stuff den headed to nexus. told deng my STORY!!! hahahahas. crapped around awhile and james was kukufied today! he suddenly came up to me, made some funny faces and noises and snatched my phone away! hahas.. so kuku lahs. lols.

PM was great. and den praise was damn high and me, janice and kar were all like, dunno where to stuff our ties. hahas. was very ministered today. very refreshed and ever ready for the new year. was really touched by the Joan's testimony today. I can really really relate with her and i do agree tt even when the whole world abandons us, God is always there for us. Loved the sermon by shirley too!! whee.

Had Zion@Istana after tt!! cao fun!! and wrote our blessings of the year!!!! i shall prob blog more tonight.

yay! party at my hse tomorrow. (hope i wun be disappointed)

anyways.. today was Janice's last service with northeast!!! i'm so sad laas.
but Janice, it was great working with you for camp and street evax!! i'm sure i'll see you doing great things in NJC!! jiayou!!

yay!! gt to see everybody today!!
met up with kar in the afternoon den after PM, went to vivo with keith.
had a really enjoyable and fruitful night!!!
thanks alot for the great night xiao hua!!!
looking forward to more times!!

the princess is back!!! HEES.
i recall my bro and 2 elder guy cousins always calling me princess cause when we were growing up, i was the youngest and the only girl so they spoilt me and called me princess.

im really missing KL, not genting, but KL.
came down from genting today and went to uncle vincent's house.
and and and..
i was so happy to see...
christine, alex and jonathan there!!!
christine got back her results already therefore she's back in KL.
8 As ok!! everything A.

they bought me a going away gift.
jonathan and alex bought me a bag.
christine bought me a cross necklace.
ahhhs.. i miss them so so much.
can't wait to go back there next year!!!
wheee..

bored to tears la...
can cry laas..

im in a lan shop at genting.
then zijie just told me because of taiwan earthquake then it's like the whole of asia the internet is like damn slow.. rahhness..

i miss everyone like sooo much lahhs..
anyways... i saw desmond at immigration on monday morning....
was quite surprised lahs. i dun even know if he is still here lahs..
GOD AHSS!!!!

MOMO!!!!

Anyways.. had fun down in KL.
with christine, michelle(lim), joanne, alex and johnny boy!!
ahhhs.. johnny boy is so cute lahs!!!
and alex!! hahas. he's damn nice!!!

last night was uncle vincent's and auntie doris's 25th anniversary.
had some private room and private karaoke!!!
was singing away with christine, michelle and alex!! we rocked ok!!
i was sad when christine and alex and johnny boy had to go back home!!!
especially johnny boy!!! he's only 12 but he rocked lahs!!!!

aiya!! cant wait to come back next year!! i want to karaoke with christine, michelle and alex again!!!!!! wheeee....

hmms.. will they fall into the same trap as me?
hopefully not.

i shall pray for them.
shall go talk to my shepherd abt it XD

not gna go in to details abt today.
just one think.

THANK YOU GOD!!!!!
thanks for answering my prayers.
i cried throughout the night thinking abt what f it really happened,
i wanted to cry a few times today (or yesterday) when i thought abt it.
But God, you answered my prayers!
thank You so much.
i wanted to just cry when i heard tt it was nthing.

*thanks zijie for the turtles!!!
*thanks janice for the candy cane!!!
*thanks evona, pam, sunny and faith for the sweets and chocolates!!!
*thanks sharon, gwen and emily for the sticker and the gummies!!! (so cute lahs)
*thanks tiffany, deng, rachel, yining, gideon, jason and weijun for the cards!!!

maybe i'll elaborate tomorrow. i shall go msg my dearest SB now and tell her the whole story!!!

MOMO scolded me for having ice cream for breakfast!!! wahahahas.
stupid MOMO! lols.

hmmms...
met up with kar this morning at AMK den we trained down to Novena and went to VELOCITY!!! actually, there's not much there lahs. had ice cream for breakfast den we trained to j8 to shop somemore before meeting the rest. I got 2 converts with rachel and gladys and another 2 with Kar XDD yay!! altogether we got 16 converts!! yay!!

Treated ourselves to cafe cartel and i took a long bus ride home!
saw pete when waiting for 265. I'm his Godsent for today!!
wheee...

I had a really great retreat with God today!!
It's been a long time since i spent a distraction-free time with Him XD
thanks shepherd for letting me take the day off.
it really helped.
and now, for the next 2 days.. im really gg to CHIONG!!!

wussen really looking forward to the SL BBQ today, but in the end, it was super fun lahs. The new juniors are really cool people and we had some really retarded forfeits. the food was good and the company was even better. It felt different from hanging out with church peeps. Like I had to be careful with the words i used, like no Christian jargon and I followed the HOP. lols.
But it was a great time of fun, got videos of sean and mir dancing, sean and eric doing some *ahem* dance and jasmine doing some funky chicken dance! LOLS! made friends with the ppl at the BBQ pit next to us.

walked to the bus stop alone. as in, i had to walk out of east coast and through the underpass, all alone. I was very very scared tt something would happen to me.But i was reminded that God would definitely protect me. I actually wanted to call someone to accompany me through my scary walk, but my phone batt was like dying. Then the song "still" started playing on my IPOD! yay! hahas.

well, tomorrow outreach! My heart is ready and after a good night's rest, my body will be ready.
my contact amanda is like so cute lahs.

heeees.

*thanks zijie :)

i think..
i really can't do it.
heart and mind, both not willing.
actually i know why..
but it's so hard to solve.
i KNOW i need to do something about it,
but yet, for some reason, i find it so hard to.

I really need a day off.
maybe tomorrow before SL bbq.
Gotta get myself back on track.

crap, i really feel like crying now.
like aquila's msn nick says: all tears lost in rain.

i'm not gna give up!! yes.. i won't.

thanks keith and james for the verses.
and faith and kar for the really great encouragements!!

yes!! lighting up tt fire again XD

had a great time at the bbq last night.
really a great time of fellowship!! lots of laughs.

today, well, let's say i had better days.
feel like such a failure now.
GOD!!!

i can't even share the bridge diagram in chinese.

WE HAVE A PHS CONVERT!!! WHEE!!!
anyways.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEIDI AND GUOZHANG!!!
had a superb time during lunch.
got high and crazy and blah blah blah.

meeting was great too. so encouraged by grads grp's convictions! GO GO GO!!
spent the night with faith. den andre and desmond.
im so happy today lahs.
really excited for the coming week.
yay!! go go go!!!

GOD AHHHS!!!!
okaes, i was super discouraged like 10 minutes ago cause i really had no confirmed visitors. I really wanted to cry okay!! like seriously. I didn't want history to repeat itself.

but really thanks James Kang for pia-ing with me from 8pm until now and he has encouraged me!!! yay!! thank God for james kang!! and desmond too!!

if no confirmed visitors.. i will street invite tomorrow. dun care if i have to do it by myself!!

AHHHHHHHHHs.

went to street evax today!!
and and and...
ZION got 9 converts today.
3 yesterday.
and 6 mayflower today!!!

although im not in charge of mayflower but they have been stagnant for WAY too long. deng and keith, your nea4 coming already! jiayou bahs!!! i have faith in you guys!!

so at first, zion really cudden find anyone. but towards the end, fruits came in!!! yes!! 12 converts!!

ok.. abt the end of the day. i was so discouraged i almost cried cause i really didn't have anyone to share to already. it was like.. so.. RAHHS!!!! but deng and kar encouraged me lahs!! so i believe in God for visitors!! yea!!

anyways, i got 2 blisters on the back of my feet tt really hurt alot, but tt did no stop me from evax-ing. although one of them started bleeding and while i bathed, it hurt alot.. but it cannot compare to the pain jesus went through to die for us!

yes!!!

1000 youths for jesus!!! here we come!!!

back for camp!
despite it being so short, i really enjoyed this camp.
and learnt lots from David Chen's testimonies.

And now i'm so full of conviction.
Is breaking 200 that hard? How about 1000?
It's not hard at all.
One person bring one friend.
Uniform and race dussen matter, it's the soul tht matters.

Let nothing stop us from sharing Christ. And let's go all the way out. Let's not only have converts on saturday but also have it during the weekends.
LET'S START NOW!!!! there's no more time left. People are waiting to be saved!!

Anyways... about the camp:
Really got to see the other side of my CG gals. The super crazy side. Let's not talk about it but we got really hyper at night. Slept in the same room as my shepherd and had some really short yet great talks. God spoke to me in many areas. Got to challenge my sheep. Caught up abit with bryan wan. Got to spend time with keith and deng as i tortured them by making them waiting for me while i painfully and slowly walked back to the room. Spent the last night with kar and we did some really spastic things. Managed to get 2 hrs of sleep. Was a great blessing to be able to host the international delegates. And NORTHEAST won the Yhope olympics XDD

Pics i'll upload another time.

childlike faith.
that's what i asked God for today.

we sang really old songs for PandW today, the songs i sang when i was just a new believer, when my faith was much stronger then it was now. i want that back. i want back that childlike faith. Faith to do the impossible. Faith to keep me strong in this walk with God. Faith to know that I can do things. That's what i want. and i teared.

So after the really great ministering service, we headed to meridien for lunch. everything was going great until i started getting realy angry at myself and others. took some time alone to calm down.

anyways.. KAR is back!! happy happy!!
yea.. went to istana park to fellowship with shan, deng, des and job. den joseph lin, xy and andre came.

thanks deng and kar for listening to my rahness.
and yushan: i love you!!!

camp camp camp.
chiong chiong chiong.
confirmation confirmation confirmation.
christmas christmas christmas!!!

AHHHSSS!!!

my brain is very 'luan' now!!!

was late for CLC2 AGAIN!!! ahhhs.. stupid. waited 20 minutes for a cab. but started my day fruitfully by eating a BANANA!!! (ok, lame)

i was not the only one late la. Yong En was late with me. hahs.
another great class today and had much group discussion.
met new people like WANTING!!! hahas.

Went for cheer discussion. alvin and sunny were lame lahs.
had dinner with janice, yushan, jocelyn and yining.
janice left den the rest of us went to buy stuff for camp.

Walked around, did crazy stuff and den left for home!!
ahhs.. gotta start packing for camps!!!!

ahhs, ahhs, ahhs!!!

anyways.. so funny lahs.
yushan's bring a nike bag and adidas shoe bag for camp.
i'm bringing an adidas back and nike shoe bag for camp!! hahas.
oh!! and i'm bringing BOB too!! lols.
i'm high!! ahhs!!!

Day started off bad.
I was supposedly late for CLC2 but it started late.
I LOVE THE CLASS MAN!!! hahaas... the teachers did a great job and a really learned alot.

Lunched with my CG peeps den back for class.
after class headed to hereen to look or a new wallet cause mine broke today =(
den met up with keith and deng and pulled them around somerset/orchard to look for stuff.
took a bus home, fell asleep and missed my stop. ended up in hougang.

Guess God wanted me to end off the day by showing me how blessed i was.
I took a cab and the driver started a conversation with me.
and he told me how one of the drivers from his company died in a taxi last night while just taking a short break. and he was only 58. he probably has not heard the good news yet.
den the driver asked me where i went and stuff and i somehow linked the conversation about how God has been good to me.

The driver was telling me how bad his life was. and he was saying within 3 hrs, he made less then $30. I didn't have any small change so i went to the provision shop to change money.

This is when God made me practice my gift of mercy, and use the fruit of the spirit- patience and self control. The lady boss was plain mean. MEAN!! i was so pissed off. so just wen to the fruit store to change money.

When i went to give the taxi fee to the driver, i decided to exercise my gift of giving and asked him to keep the change, which was only $4.

i hope, in someway or another, i planted a seed in his heart.
WE NEED TO SEE PEOPLE BEING SAVED!!!!

WHEE!!
today was great lahs!!
i loved CG. it was a succesful CG!!

anyways.. after cg, headed to VIVO with rachel's core team. it's been such a long time since we hung out together. had a very nice chicekn rice dinner. everything was nice except the chicken. sunny and gary then came den went to the optical shop so keith and sunny could get their free contact lens!!!

anyways, bought a bag for camp!! and den we headed to the rooftop to slack and chat and stuff. took bus back with keith and jared and i'm home!! whhe...

meeting heidi tomorrow before CLC!!!

eeee.. deng told me i shouldn't go for this morning's outreach cause im sick =( boo...
but, because i didn't go, i managed to get 10 hrs of sleep and now my fever is gone!!

i'm hungry and boredd now. sians.. but, i'm leaving my hse fo CG soon!!! wheee.

mommy and daddy blessed me with 300 dollars to buy new things for school and a bag for camp!!! whee i shall use only half the money though. wheeee.....

ok.. bye bye!

i guess i have a weak immune system.
or maybe it's just tt i didn't get enough rest.

i've been sleeping less den 48 hrs last week and only about 8 to 10 hours in the last 2 days.
therefore, im having a flu and cough and fever!! but but but.. God is my healer!!!

woke up at 8, went down to the bicycle shop to heal BOB!!! (or as joseph lin and james say: Slazanger gamma) whee. den had tuition. honestly, i have not studied for one month plus, tt means i may have to bring my books to camp.

cabbed down to RC and had morning D. God really spoke to alot of ppl today, including me. I wanted to share, but I am a person of little faith =( really want to build my faith and break down that wall of jericho!!

cancelled my captain's ball practice and slacked around RC awhile b4 leaving with james and jon to go woodlands. Those two are crazy. Went to causeway, walked around awhile, den they left.
met the rest of the games ppl at the MRT station den left for Singapore Sports School.

First, we too bus 900, but we had to tak it back to the interchange because it was raining. den we took 901 but we got stuck at the bus stop cause it was raining verry hard. I suggested we lift the whole bus stop and use it to shelter us. wahahas.

so i ran with pete, yushan and zhicai. there was thunder and lightning.

zhicai: we are in an open space lehs. and i'm the tallest!!! ( meaning, he will be the first to get struck by lightning)
pete: being short has its advantages too!!

wahahas.

was totally drenched. and was verrry cold. SSS is such a nice place. played with yuqian, andria and desmond at the indoor running track awhile. i hit the ball sideways and it got stuck somewhere. had SUNNY to climb over the railing and get it for us. hahas.

so left with NE and on the bus was thinking of district cheers. so cool ok!! im so excited. went to eat with des, pete, donavan and zhicai, took bus back with des and zhicai and fell asleep. super sleepy now, shall get at least 8 hrs of sleep tonight. yay!!! shall go do ministry stuffs now.

if only there were 30 hours in a day.
once again, i got no time to go and run errands this week.
rahhs..

so day started off with me being reluctant to get out of bed.
i would blame CSI: Supreme Sunday for that.

*damn irritated now*

went to bed at 4am. woke up at 830. went to meet deng. and he owes me ten minutes of his life. met lays on the train and reahced somerset. went to buy some foodden headed for bible crash course. today's session was fun and interesting. thanks to joseph and josepg.

after crash course, headed to PS with james, jared, jon,, joseph, joseph and alvin. hahas. to check out some stuff. and they were abusing BOB!!!! =(
bought some stuff den went to istana to watch the cheerleaders.

talked to rachel for awhile. and den headed to PS macs with her, pam and lays. and we sat there crapping and laughing at rachel's jokes!! (YES!!! rachel's jokes)

decided to take NE line with rach and we talked quite alot. enjoyed that short time we had together.

i will really sleep early tonight. tuition, morning d, captain's ball and SSS tomorrow.

just got back from dinner with my family.
nice place, great service.
the place was at paradiz centre!!

and there's this one guitar shop/jamming studio.
the studio is damn nice. shall intro to desmond.

talking about desmond,
i really feel like killing him.
bcause of 2 things!!
rahhs.. but nvm, i shall be forgiving!! hahas.

the cheerleading girls came my house today.
it's really cool and stuff and i'm doing the track for them!!! wheeee.
so we watched a few portions of bring it on: all or nothing and they practiced. quite cool!!

anyways.. tuesday, my day is totally packed. tuition and mornign D in the morning, camp practice from 12 to 2, and from 4.30 onwards i gta be at SSS.

oh wells, God will strengthen me!!
BUSY WEEK AHEAD!!!
shall (try) to sleep early tonight.

oh ya!! seepeng didn't come today.
and i didn't know what to do after service.
den ppl were like, oh no, seepeng not here, wad's michelle gg to do?? hahas.

but thank God keith came! hahas.

went to watch deck the halls at 930 pm with keith and gladys.

watching the movie definitely got me missing my family in america. and the snow. and the christmas joy. joy=presents, family gatherings, food, video games, (wrestling) wahahas. but that was before i moved here.

but now, ever since i converted, i found a whole new meaing of christmas joy.

JOY = outreaching, seeing salvation, carolling, and writing christmas cards.

i do miss my family back there, but i guess it was God's plan for me to move here, and He even blessed me with another family! the family of God. just spending time walking aimlessly in Cathay with keith and gladys today, it was just so great. We shared our lives, and, i felt so blessed. Blessed to have people like them in my life.

I love NEA2 core team alot!!!!

oh.. and the cg too!!

God is going to do something great in this group soon. i can just feel it.

quotes faith: i'm totally zonked out.
but not as zonked out as the NE dancers.
just wanna thank God for them and their hrd work. and Janice too!!!

so went to see the doctor this morning for my asthma and sinuses.
everything cost $200 lahs. hahas. went to meet kar and den headed to RC. I think because today was very slack dat's why im quite tired. anyways.. i finally got to see RACHEL today. after like 3 years...!! hahas. (joking lahs, actually only 2 weeks but it felt like 3 years)

PM was great!! wheee. stayed back and den left with kar and fauth. fell asleep on the bus home and almst fell while rushing to get off the bus.

yay!!! sha;; go eat, bathe and prepare my shepherding!!
ahhs!! so happy that MY joyce is back!!

woke up earlier than my alarm today.
so slacked awhile then leftthe hse and everyone was late lahs!!

anyways.. gta apologize for my bad mood today. really lack of sleep.
oh oh.. YIHUI IS BACK!!! yay!!
hahas. after bible crash course went to bugis and den spent time with my fellow CT members and crapped and laughed and took pics. i'll post them tomorrow!

shall sleep early today XDD

2 kuku conversations today:

wenzhen: jocelyn, how come you always never online.
jocelyn: i online, just that you're always playing audition.
me and yining: *laughs*

keith: i'm practicing guitar
me: i wanna practice guitar but i have to cut my nails, i have to cut my nails but i cant find the nail clipper, i want to find the nail clipper but i'm too lazy.
keith: LOL
keith: go and pray through first.
me: err... hahahas.


ahhhs.. i'm high!!

Monday: the guys didn't dare to walk w/o umbrella lahs. hahas.

Today: 2 medium fries, 3 large fries. shared by 5 people.

yay!!! today was a crazy day!!
went to outreach and do survey and im proud of wenzhen and jocelyn!! XDD
thank God for you girls!!

Got quite crazy at AMK macs during debrief. hahas. went to popular to buy some stuff and now i'm home! crash course tomorrow!!

i was just so lost last last night.
i just lied on my bed and cried and cried.
letting all the tears i've been holding back just flow out.
but i gotta say, i've been really good at holding back those tears.
did consider calling some people, but i went to God first.
and He assured me, that He is with me, that He will always be with me.
He is my source of strength, comfort, joy, peace etc.
And then during morning devotion, He spoke to me through the worship song.

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

God will make a way for me XD

--
Ok, i'm online now cause i slept at 1030pm. Cudden get online because my connection was down so decided to sleep. Was really tired after yesterday.

Woke up at 830 for tuition, den went for Morning Devotion. Played the 4-beat game. After morning d, slacked awhile den left with heidi and deng for jubilee. had my lunch at mos while waiting for jocelyn and jiahao. i was super high.

CG at cheng san CC rocked lahs!! we played badminton and slacked and crapped and I did stupid stuff. Laughed alot lahs. Lols. Slacked at the cafe while gwen and wenzhen played audition. hahas.

Went to SUMO HOUSE to have dinner and Keith ah, wah lao.. he was a super joker today. Headed to AMK macs to have ice cream and tt place changed alott. It's very nice now!! and again, Keith was a super joker. then i came home!! bathed and den slept. slept until 4am. craziness.

K, SOS meeting tomorrow!! excited!!!

dunno what made me turn the water taps on.
one minute i was talking to my dad and den he asked me if i was ok den i just started crying and ased him to leave me alone.

i'm like some depressed idiot right now. dunno wads going on in my head.
I WANT MY SHEPHERD!!!!!!

Sometimes I feel like people take me for granted.
I dun understand. And now I'm having second thoughts about something.

in a certain area:
I started out lousily and looked down on myself.
took me so long to get to where I am now.
everything when I practiced at home, and I failed, I cried.
I tried so hard, yet I failed.

Until I finally asked the spirit to lead me, and I succeeded.
I was just so happy when i finally succeded, after so many months of working hard.
but now, I'm having second thoughts about what I'm doing.
Sometimes I wonder, why am I even doing it?
Why am I STILL doing it when it seems like I'm not important?

I need answers. I know I have to do something about it.
God, I'm just so frustrated and even to the extent I feel hurt.
What am I to them? My tears because of the failures, what were they for?
Maybe I should just let go.

--

Almost didn't make it for Hope Sem today. I woke up with a really really bad headache and almost didn't want to go. So I popped 2 panadols into my mouth, den went to bathe and get ready to meet seepeng. On the bus my head still hurt like crazy, so i prayed and by the time i reached bishan, my head was healed!!! i actually felt quite ok today, despite my nose being blocked.

Twangs and my timing was very good today. When at Bishan, the moment we stepped onto the platform, the train came. And when we reached somerset, the escalator was still going up. (For those who don't know, the escalator from the platform to the station only goes up in the morning, the rest of the time you have to use the stairs) And then the man turned green just as we got to the traffic light. hahas.

Went to find natalie and had breakfast. Slacked awhile with Pete and Leonard and then went up. Hope Sem was quite cool lahs. Enjoyed it. But james and zijie kept irritating me... hahas. aiya, shall not say why lah!! hahas. (now james, give me $5. HAHAS!) Seepeng, Me, Jon Quek and Pete were all sick!! Blocked noses!! hahas. Lunch time was enjoyable!! we sat at the carpark lobby of Meridien and just crapped! alot!!! And Jon Quek ROFL-ed. it was funny!!

Got caught in the rain and den got back. Towards the end of the lesson, alot of us got really HIGH!!! hahas. Went to have dinner with my CG and i think i scared them a little with my sudden mood swings. dunno what got into me today. dun worry, not suffering from depression. Trained home with the Nea1 girls and went to Cheng San CC to book court for tomorrow's CG.

Walked home!! something I have not done for a very long time!! And as i walked, i just sang out loud with my IPOD. those worship songs lahs..

oh ya.. reminds me of something i shared during CG a few weeks back:

Oh I feel like dancing

It's foolishness I know

But when the world has seen the light

They will dance with joy like we're dancing now

I rmb the sharing was on worship.
I mean it's like.. at first on the way home I thought it was embarassing to sing out loud.
But then i asked myself: why?
Why should I be embarassed, ain't I living for the audience of One??

People may laugh at us, jeer at us because of the way we do things, such as jump and dance around during praise, but we shouldn't be embarassed. Because we are living for the audience of One, and that is God. So why care about what others think about us.

If King David can sing and dance around in public with the robes he was wearing, why can't we do it. It's a King and he's doing it in public, knowing pepole would laugh at him, but he didn't care because he was doing it for God. (something ketih shared)

People will laugh at us now, but when they see the light, when they come to know the great God we have in our lives, they will definitely start jumping with joy XDD

okaes.. time to so my QT XD

so mel now. rahs.
out of boredness i went to read some archives.
and den, i started tearing.

there's this friend i got to knw last year.
and she's one of the ppl who really made me feel loved.
i treasured them so much.

but i let jealousy take over me.
and den because i was so childish,
i lost tt friendship.
one which i treasured so so much.
i want tt back.
i really want tt back.

but if God has another plan for me, i'll follow His plan.
but issit because of me that she drifted away from Him?
most imptly, i wanna see her back, running the race with me.
i wanna see her at the end of the race.
i rmb i asked her what if i backslided, and she said if i did, she would slap me with a tuna fish.

to you: i think you know who you are. i know we have had so many quarrels and stuff, but do know that i still love you, ALOT!! and i only ask for one thing, for you to get back on track and run this race. i know you have not fully left, but just take one more step closer to Him. That's all i ask for, to see you committing your life back to Him. I still love you sister XD (my piggy)

--

on the brighter side, bryan decided to re-dedicate his life back to God.

on another brighter side, yong kang rocks!! hahas. but thanks to keith too.

just to add on some lame stuff:
i told YK that i want to drop outof school to plant churches at sentosa and pulau ubin. hahas.

DENG=EVIL!!!!

ahhhhs... i cudden go out with kar and job today cause i was SICK!!!!!! bleaghs!!!
anyways, JAMES is back. wahahahas.

stayed at home.. CLEANED my tables.. (yes, i did clean) and watched tv.
tomorrow.. ahhs.. i dunno what to do... cause i didn't sign up for crash course =(

calling for LOUISA!!!!!

really gta start doing some REAL shopping here in singapore.
LOUISA!!! let's go out... SOON!

okaes... i really think my holiday sucked lahs.
i really didn't like it because i fell sick on the first night!!!
fever, asthma, flu, vomitting. it was horrible.

but thanks jared(lim) and joanne for stayin with me while the rest went shopping and theme park and stuff.

genting was much colder than see peng's jokes. i missed my cg ALOT!!! i kept thinking about them lahs and my dear joyce.

okaes.. im so glad to be back!!!

and because i was sick, i didn't do any shopping. non at all.

okaes.. currently jared and gladys are at my place.
we have been doing preperation for tomorrow's care group.

anyways.. i'm leaving for genting soon and i'm still having second thoughts.
but as james said, take it as a retreat wuth God. just like he's going to do.
and yes, i will.

will miss so manny people lahs!!
take care everyone!!
and you still can call my phone XDD

just to end off: i'll be back on saturday night!!!

YES!! before the clock stikes 12.. just wanna wish a ver very HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TO SHERY CHUA!!! thank God for you dear sister!!

okaes.. just finished doing up the affirmations for this week's CG. yepps. jiayou NEA2 core team!!!

did CG stuff until 5.30 am. it's so rushed lahhs.
woke up at 930 to go for morning devotion but my mom didn't allow me to go out until i packed my bag for the genting trip. so just anyhow pacled and then actually i could leave my 1030, but i fell back asleep and woke up at 1145. reached RC just as morning devotion was ending.

slacked at the RC den headed to meet zijie den we bussed to northpoint to meet james and kar. went to catch STEP UP and i really loved tt movie. Note to self: never sit next to james when watching a movie. okaes.. met up with deng and the rest den walked around. took 853 and slept on the bus.

okaes.. the CT is coming my house tomorrow. whee!!! and going genting tomorrow night. im havin second thoughts about going now. hahas.

apparently keith betrayed us and became an anderson. hahas. actually, he was wearing an anderson PE shirt and mayflower PE shorts. lols. a bamboo and a flower.

had a really really fun day today!!
woke up and went to meet deng and saw twangs at the bus stop!!
deng made me wait 30 mins for him =.=
met up with the rest for jamming.

after jamming headed to RC for evaluation.
*thanks tiffany for the sweet letter and the rose. i wanted to cry when i read it XDD love you!! *
everyone was so spastic today.
anyways.. yushan is sick so pleassse pray for her!!

left with pete, jon and deng to amk to meet yining.
bought chocolates and kar got me addicted to maltsers. whees/
okaes.. headed to YK's place and met keith.
slacked and crapped at the pool area den YK finally came.
had dinner at his house and a really really crazy core team meet.
before leaving, me and yining spammed his MSN. hahas.
going to yong kang's house is a joy for us, a nightmare for him. hahahas.
took bus home with the 2 jokers.

yea!! okayyes.. got ALOT of things to chiong for CG. including 2 videos.
GLADYS, JARED and KEITH!!!!! my house. this wednesday!!! hahas.

woohoo!! so far i know that LINHUI and TINGFONG are promoted!! yays!
was woken up by my shepherd's call.

soo.. my original plan was to stay home and sleep but my mom made me cook dinner!! surprisingly, it tasted good. hahas.. anyways.. maybe i should go take a nap now! whee.

God.. why did i even think of such foolish and stupid things.
i never ever wanna think about it again.

today, original plan was to meet kar, den go service together.
den rach smsed me this morning and asked if we could accompany her to PS to buy something first. so we agreed.
den kar said we meet first, but i go find rach on my own cause she meeting other people.
den things changed again.. we ended up meeting james and job. and in the end, i ended up with the 2 guys. hahhaas. so lame..

headed to centrepoint with the 2 guys before gg for believers' gathering. so crap laas. lols. den believers' gathering was good. about fasting. and jocelyn was so cute lahhs. hahas. praise and worship. worship was super ministering. service was abt outreach and i was so so full of passion and conviction and it's exactly one of the things tt has been running through my mind the past few days.

had lunch and den me, pete, kar and jon were promoting our games lahs. and being the nice person i am, i helped sunny and kar recruit members at the same time. yays!! slacked with the grads grp!! and faith is back to her crazy old self. we crapped alot lahs. den me, seepeng, chenxiang and sunny went to cuppage lan shop and me and seepeng actually enjoyed ourselves!! hahas. we were laughing all th way and i was spaaming everyone's dota chat thingy with very random lines. then the NEA3 guys and keith were in this map where there were really very dumb characters like the pissed polar bears, demon sheep, osama bin laden lookalikes, sadaam hussein decoys.. etc. and and and.. MONKEYS!!!! hahahas. ok.. so we got really crazy and after we left guozhang was pretending he was a demon sheep. so funny!! and when coming out of the lift, the door closed on him!!

went to PS and seepeng was telling us abt this anime she watched that whenever the sheep was fed a dumpling, it would become demon sheep. totally linked to guozhang!! dinnered at BK den trained home and talked to seepeng lahs. thanks seepeng for being there!!! originally wanted to go back with kar but had communication breakdown.

messaged tiffany to encourage her and at the same time seepeng messaged me XDD yays!!! my GOD sents!!!! plus kar chian!!!

ok.. planning to saty at home ALL DAY and sleep!! wheee. i'm off!

ohs.. im gg up to genting next thursday. and rachel is gg to korea. at first i didn't wanna go cause i was afraid no one would take care of my girls, but i know they can take care of themselves, and still got gladys to help me XD

oh.. anyways.. just heard from james tt he's gg to KL with his dad and stephen is gg with his friends. hahas.. the 3 of us will be in malaysia the exact same days. and i was telling james to meet stephen and they can cab up to genting to find me. hahahas. so cool!!!

ok.. im excited lahs. cause i'll be able to spend time with my sis shopping. im so glad we're close. and and and, my mom is sponsering us!! yays!!

got lots of stuff to blog about today.
yea.. so anyway slept at 5am and woke up at 9 cause i wanted to wake up ketih but he went back to sleep again. i have not seen him for one week ok?! lols.

so today JAMES came!! hahas. started the day off with morning devotion and then NE training class from 1 to 530. was really very refreshed. den so funny lahs, the fridge in the kitched was leaking and me and james did many stupid stuffs while mopping it up. sponge, tears of joy, water broke, etc. hahas. damn kuku lahs. and then we were supposed to do a short skit and james' grp was super spastic lahs.

today freedy's teachings enlightened me the most. cause it was quite refreshing and stuff. stayed back to help clean up den some stuff happened so i quickly left with kar and seepeng. but after awhile, i was ok already. so spent time with the 2 of them today and the talks we had, were just so... wow. something that i said i will never share to anybody.. (i shared to my shepherd, i think) i shared to them. and we just talked and gave advice to each other on becoming better shepherds, how to love God more, etc. very fruitful time spent with them although it was short. thanks girls!! for always being there for me when im always in a very bad mood and i really enjoyed today!! love you guys!!!

took bus and met jasmine low on the bus and shared to her how i felt about certain stuff going on in school. feel so much better now.

yepps. came home i just finished chatting with FAITH!! who has also just ended her Os. hahas. yepps, and thanks faith for the advice.

anyways.. really wanna affirm 2 people today.

heidi: my sheep. someone who has definitely grown alot the past few months and im very encouraged by your growth. and really thank God for your serving spirit. always willingly ready to help out whether at church office or cleaning up the RC. thanks for being such a faithful, accountable and teachable sheep. (a F.A.T) sheep. hahas. you have really brought alot of happiness and joy to me and as deng says, you are my bundle of joy XD anyways, really thank God for you and i love you alot. yea.. continue growing and trusting in Him and be a shepherd soon!!!! yepps!! jiayou!!

jocelyn: although you're not my sheep, i still care alot about your physical and spritual life. i have personally seen you having breakthroughs in bouth your physical and spiritual life, and like heidi, you have grown alot too. you also bring me alot of joy and enjoy spending time with the 2 of you. yea, and you become a shepherd soon too ok? anything you can come and find me and talk to me. I'll always be here for you. i love you girl!!

kk, service tomorrow. shall sleep early (or try to sleep early) tonight.

okaes. just got back from vivocity. met up with kar and job first. den yining and jocelyn came.
so me, kar and job were looking for Long John's Silver. then i started to not like vivocity cause we got lost!! and the LJS service is super lousy lahhs. so went to the toys r us to look for spongebob TOYS!!! but, there was only the jumbo spongebob =(

ate ice cream den decided to go candy empire. so went and den took train to serangoon den bussed home. saw yushan and her group at vivo too!! and jolene and dewen XD

oh yar.. congrats to lays, jon, pam and james! your Os are over!!
and james, now you can go and run around like some mad idiot!
hahas.

take care xiao hua XDD

*please understand that sometimes, i just need a break. haiz.

mama's gg to camp tomorrow. same camp as jia hao!! enjoy guys!!

last last night i slept for 10 hours.
last night i slept 9 hours.
wat an achievement.

thanks zijie for the verse XDD
going out with kar today!!

replies to tags.

des: haha. yepps XD
james: it's so cute lahhs.
kar: yea and amen.
janice: i will! soon!
kar: rahhhhhs. hahas.
des: wadever lahs.
clarence: craziness!! lols.
tucky: things are alright!!
pete: what?? i affirmed you on my blog lehs!! hahas.

okaes. annointing really really flows!!!

ZION cg was super fun and lame and spastic today!!! but yihui's challenge was very moving. today was a BULLY pete session!! wahahahahas. super fun!!! but... i shall not bully pete for 2 weeks!!!!

me: 2 weeks very long lehs..
pete: 2 weeks ONLY?!

hahas. but thank God for pete for partnering me in being guitarist today. if not for him, my fingers would have fallen off by now..

went to have dinner and it was a crapping session. with seepeng, zijie, heidi, jocelyn and kar. and gary. i think gary very amused by me. anyways.. was really funny lahs.

seepeng was very noisy on the bus but gta thank God for it cause her laming made me stop focusing on my anger. thank God karchian could relate to me.

home now!!! slack day tomorrow!!

okays. just got back home from RC. end of the day was so fun lahs. haahas.

anyways, ZION CG tomorrow!! hahas. excitedness..
nthing else to say. BYE!

[John 8:32]
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

i knw it's not easy to correct ppl, especially people whom you're very very close to. but if it's for their own good, then we have to do it. it may ruin the relationship we have with that person, but we know that we have done what God wants us to do and in one way or another, you have helped that person change and grow.

jiayou spongebob XD

1. how old do you wish you were?
the starting of P1 so i can have 9 to 10 more years to not think about O levels.

2.Where you when 9/11 happened?
watching tbe news in my parents' room.

3. what do you do when vending machines steal your money?
im quite blessed laas. the only vending machines that steal my moey are the ones in school=.=

4. do you consider yourself kind?
wad do you think? hahas

5. if you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
i will NEVER get a tattoo.

6. if you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
CHINESE!!! wahahas

7. do you know your neighbours?
yepps. one of them used to be my tutor.

8. what do you consider a vacation?
hanging out with my bestest and closest friends.

9. do you follow your horoscope?
too lazy to go and read it.

10. would you move for the person you love?
depends.

11. are you touchy feely?
i dun like people to touch me.

12. do you believe that opposites attract?
sort of. for example: me and twangs (: [me and seepeng]

13. dream job?
i wanna help children who have been abused or hurt or have no parents. like the organization CHILDHELP

14. favourite tv channels?
Nickelodeon!! cause got SPONGEBOBH SQUAREPANTS!!!!

15. favourite place to go on weekends?
NEXUS!! and arnd town.

16. showers or baths?
showers.

17. do you paint your nails?
nopes. i cant even keep long nails.

18. do you trust people easily?
used to. but now not.

19. what are your phobias?
alott...

20. do you want kids?
YES!!!i love kids!!!

21. do you keep a handwritten journal?
death note counted?? whahas.

22. where would you rather be now?
in bed? or or or.. BREAKTHROUGH CAMP!

23. who makes you warm and fuzzy?
PEPSI!!!!! my dog who is not living with me.

24. heavy or light sleeper?
light.

25. are you paranoid?
sometimes. depends on the situation.

26. are you impatient?
used to be but God changed me.

27. who can you relate to?
people who know me best.

28. how do you feel about interracial couples?
very sweet.

29. have you been burned by love?
HUHS?!

30. what's your common said statement?
sian ji pua.

31. what's your main ringtone on your mobile?
the chorus of 'PROMISES'

32. what were you doing at midnight last night?
chatting with kar, deng, yining. was thinking and crying. and den i watched a VCD

33. what did the last text on your mobile say?
--heees... secret--

34. whose bed did you sleep in last night?
mine.

35. what colour shirt are you wearing?
PINK!!!

36. most recent movie you watched?
The Cutting Edge 2

37. name three things you have on at all times
my phone, my computer, my brain. (although it normally dussen work)

38. what colour are your bedsheets?
PURPLE!

39. how much cash do you have right now?
30+

40.what's your favourite part of the chicken?
the edible part.

41. what's your favourite town/city?
definitely new york

42. i can't wait till:
IM OUTTA OF DEYI!!!

43. what did you have for dinner last night?
ate only lunch yesterday.

44. how tall are you barefoot?
169.5 ONLY.

45.do you own a gun?
nopes.

46.what do you like to drink in the morning?
packet or can milo.

47. where do you think you'll be in 10 years?
ermms... on stage playing keyboard for young adults service!!! wahahas.

48. last thing you ate?
bak kut teh.

49. what songs do you sing in the shower?
i dun sing in the shower.

50. last thing that made you laugh?
my sister's nano wussen wrking so i suggested that she drop it on the floor like what pete did to his phone. it did work, but now there's 3 lines in the middle of the screen and it looks as if ipod and adidas merged.

51. worst injury you ever had?
i fell into a drain in primary school.. it was quite big lahhs.. and my ankle swelled up and until now it's still swollen. i also got kicked in the shin in primary school while playing netball. it was swollen for weeks and i cudden walk properly fo 2 or 3 days.

52. does someone have a crush on you?
how would i know?

53. what's your favourite candy?
mini toons mix and match gummies!!

54. what song do you want played at your funeral?
i dunno. hahas

--ripped from cong's blog who ripped from layling's blog who ripped from seepeng's blog.

wahahas. just came home.
reached serangoon at 1245 but RC was closed.
so went to find tiffany and went to book badminton court for her cg tomorrow.
went to RC void deck to eat and we chatted and im soo encouraged by her life. evn after so much hardship, she still hangs on. jiayou tffany!!!

then pete, zhicia, heidi, deng, kar and zijie came.
was sad when i got to the RC cause someone's group didn't close the window and the balcony was all wet. and some of our stuff was ruined. so cleaned up the balcony whici was very dirty. finished up deco and i think RC looks soo much nicer. thanks for the help everybody!! slacked at RC den went to j8 to look for kar who left earlier to shepherd emily. ate then walked around and now im home.

im so tempted to watch the covenant online now. but... i shall wait until next tuesday!!! hahas... yays!! i really really cant wait!!! okaes... shall go play guitar now.. ohs, my pick is with desmond.

ohs!! james has his own version of monopoly!! hahahas.

omg.. everyone is getting super mel nowadays... *ahems pete and des*
okok... we really really have to MOVE ON!!!!!! (does the jon quek move-on clap)
but i didn't come here in the morning to blog about that.

i came here to blog anout the pain in my back. although it hurts now but it didn't hurt while i slept and i was able to sleep peacefully. yea!! james kang prayed for me and he said to have faith and i did!! yays!!

okaes, gg to leave the hse now. spending QT and devotion with my SB <3 later.

cheers!

it's been about 2 or 3 months already and i still cant get over the fact that she left just like that. it was hard on me, real hard cause she was really really precious to me. she was more than a friend. she was doing so well in her walk, but i dun understand why she just had to leave like that. and without a word. i should have just spent more time with her and maybe things wudden be like this. i thought i've moved on, but everytime i see her sign in to MSN, the memories just keep coming back.

another issue.
im afraid. afraid that one day, i will just get sick and tired of hearing his childish complaints, his childish ways and the way he treats me. im afraid that i'll just blow up at him.

im afraid that one day, another one close to me will leave and when that happens, i'll probably just stop trusting, and just fall. i dun want this. i dun want it at all.

God, strengthen me. I need Your comfort and Your assurance right now. I dun wanna be overwhelmed by all the things going on or things that have happened in the past. If there's anything i fear more other than You, is the thought of me leaving You. I never never never wanna leave You. Even if i lose everything, my friends, my family, everything, but God, there is one thing i never wanna lose and that is You.

although many of them have left, i know other than You, i still have others. And i thank You for placing them in my life.

my back is still hurting.
cudden really sleep well last night cause no matter what position i slept, it just hurt. but as zijie said, i prayed and then fell asleep! yay! hahas. and and and.. messaged james and kar abt what i learnt! yay!

and and and.. my sleep was interrupted by deng, seepeng, kar and james. hahas. so woke up, bathed, played keyboard den left for potong pasir. i really think that i played quite well today, and i think that everybody also mostly did well today. left for Serangoon to eat, evaluated den while some of them studied, i slept cause im really not feeling well today. coughing, flu, sore throat and backache. i think i really have to get more rest.

so took bus with deng and clarence. den deng was nice enough to accompany me wait for my bus. saw songen and kaiwen!! okaes. home now! and mommy is coming home tonight! hahas. yays!!

put yourself in my shoes and den you'll understand how i really feel about everything.

so had trouble sleeping last night cause my back was really hurting.
so had to sleep on my side but i cudden really sleep throughout the night.
woke up den went to meet kar at AMK mrt and we went to somerset together.
shepherded heidi and den lunch with her, jocelyn and rachel.
then went for believer's gathering. learnt about the habit of confession. it was very applicable to my life.

service really rocked laas. but i cried a little when my sister rejected Christ again. But yea, just have to wait for God's timing XD and we got another addition to the CG.. JASMINE FROM DEYI!!! hahahahahas. wheeee.
did admin stuff for one hour plus then was crapping with stephen. went to meridien to slack and den went with ALOT of people to PS to slack. den to LJS den home! on the way home, was talking to zijie and den james called! wahahahas.

k.. home now. studying tomorrow!!!

i wanna post many random things.

firstly, God answered my CG's prayer.
Cause it's like, at first our dear Gwen was not allowed to go camp cause of her parents. Then after PM, i suggested that we pray for her cause camp is something that NOBODY should miss. So we prayed thet God would soften her parent's heart!! and then... HER MOM RECONSIDERED!!!
yes!!!! almost all my CG girls going for camp!! full time some more!! GUYS!! JIAYOU!!!!!

secondly, James Kang is the reason why I'm quite high now.
but but but.. HE SAID I'M SMART!!! ONLY VERY FEW PEOPLE SAY THAT!!! HAHAHAHAS. but i enjoy chatting with him!!!! heeees.

thirdly, ME AND KAR ARE GOING TO BETTER SHEPHERDS!!!!! right right right kar? we were chatting about improving ourselves to become better shepherd for God. Cause our sheep can only grow when they are taught well. yepps. No such thing as bad sheep, but bad shepherd. Jiayou karchian!!! and and and, i love karchian! hahas.

fourthly, me and zijie shared our dreams for God. yes!! we will dream BIG for HIM!!!

and and and.. me and pete tong cai cheng are gna study REAAALLLL HARD!!!! cause we want to glorify Him and show ppl that we can study and serve God at the same time. right pete?? wahahas.

oh ya, and while watching the spongebob movie today, alot of memories flashed back. (i think only 3 ppl will know) but me, i gta move on!!!

okaes.. i think tt's all.. shall continue preparing my shepherding notes.

okaes.. i really over-tired myself.
slept only 3 hrs plus.
and my cousin came to my hse (ate my breakfast and finished the nutella)
pulled me out of bed and forced me to go see doctor cause i was coughing very badly.
he paid for me ok?! hahas. so sweet. and den bout me canned ice milo!! whees.

so cabbed down to RC and the day started with me sweeping the floor and pete commenting that i was becoming like seepeng. and me, i was like OH NO!!!! hahas. kuku. had morning devotion and read 1 Corinthians 12: 12-26. cute but very meaningful passage. learnt alot from it. One Body, Many Parts.

after devotion, watched SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!! YAY!!! and james kang was there too!! to enjoy it with me!! wahahahas. watched abit of She's the Man then started guitar class. After that, slacked awhile longer then PM. by the time PM was over, i was really tired. and let's not talk abt the rest. But thanks seepeng, kar and my meinu!!! yay!! hallucinations and the mountain top and screaming!! *secret* had dinner with zijie, seepeng, chen xiang and kar. and we talked abt alot of things ok. from ghost movies, to camps, to prank calls. hahahahas. so funny laas. walked with gideon at shop n save and the fish shop and the provision shop, then walked to the bustop and job's house there to take bus XDD yes.

Serving God is tiring, but we're doing it for Him XDD

sorry keith for not being able to meet you!!! =(

anyways, totally forgot i had tuition this morning and my teacher had to come and wake me up. and i had to PS deng. well, not really PS la, just change time mahs.. hahas. so went to meet him and he KEPT ME WAITING!! and, as usual, hahas, i cudden find my way. lols.

so desmond came den after that we went to hougang to buy some stock den to RC. and i didn't eat anything until 9 pm. so didn't manage to finish deco as there were alot of cock ups. thank God for desmond, pete, tiffany, yining, ruiyong, deng and zhicai for helping out. especially wanna help zhicai as at the end he helped my clean and sweep the place up knowing that i didn't like to do housework and all that stuff. thanks alot ZHICAI!! whees. but sad la, didn't manage to do alot today. and i didn't get to go TOYS R US!!!!!! =(

watched project superstar, dinner-ed and den came home. so sleepy now. meeting at Rc at 10 am tomorrow. loooong and busy, tiring day. but God will give me strenght. JING SHEN!!!

woohoo!! thank God for Gwen for being the most fun person i led games with! hahas.
we played water games for CG!! and as predicted, the game masters were the most wet at the end.

so we went up and the core team treated the grp to green tea from the mama shop!! wahahahas. den shared stories abt primary school. then praise, worship and teaching and worship again!! i was really very refreshed after today. very very refreshed and renewed also!!

so slacked around and talked to rachel about stuff and then i studied while they had meeting. i studied ok!! so waited for kar and we went to have dinner and then waited super long for the bus but while waiting had managed to have a real fruitful conversation with her. and on the bus too. enjoyed it lots. thanks Kar Chian!! love you loadds!!

kkaes.. gta plan deco stuff. gna chiong deco tomorrow!!! anybody free to help?!

Guo Zhang Gyoza Dumbling is back!!! hahahahahahahas.
and he called me at 8 am in the mornign lahs =.="

oh wells!! off to go for CG now!! it's gonna be fun!!
and and and... i get to see my shepherd!!!!!

one minute of fame. xiiao huaa!! hahahahahas.

i dun understand, why people, when they see people they dun really know but, but they knw that person is good friends with someone they hate, they want to scold tt person when that person has done nothing to offend them or hurt them or has not even talked to them.

God, i can stand these type of people. My gosh, i've been a victim so many times so i totally know how it feels. Those people out there, just GROW UP LA!!!! sometimes o really feel like scolding them back, but i dunno wanna be as LOW as them. rahhs.

okaes... my anger is released. wahahahs.

firstly, i wanna say sorry to desmond, yining, keith and yeong deng. i think the way i treated you guys just now was not very good so yea, sorry.

i guess i just let emotions take over me just now. and my attitude was really bad so i had to take a breather and went to RC corridor to just cool down and clear my thoughts. and thanks Kar Chian. and keith too. i dunno why i just felt like crying. but thank God for assuring me that everything will be alright and for being my souce of comfort.

i guess im still way too sensitive.
i dunno why after so long, i still cant adapt to the change.
but God, since it's Your plan, i will submit and obey.

hmmms, ok. alot of things i want to blog abt in short.

firstly, i guess when someone tells you about a problem their having, you cant say you understand unless you've been through the same thing.

secondly, i think we almost quarrelled just now and i was super affected by it, so i had to go otuside. but i guess everything's ok now. Being in a team means you will definitely step on each other's toes, but i guess the most impt thing is to be mature and forgiving. but i'm glad the air is cleared!!

wells, im feeling much better now. excited for tomorrow's CG!!! XDDDDD

k.. just got home.
woke up at 1245 when i was supposed to meet clarence and tiffany at 1 to study. reached there at 2, den ate den left for RC to have guitar class. it was super nosensical cause i was doing alot of stupid things!! hahas.

went to study with zijie after tt then cabbed home. super sleepy now. tomorrow another long day for me. shall TRY to sleep early tonight.

replies to the many unreplied tags:

bryan: it confuses me.
kar: it was 3am. the time where the 2 of us get super high!!! hahas.
clarence: hahas. yea. mr nice guy.
james: you have God therefore you have life!
jingting: ok! soon XD
hwee en: yepps!
heidi: i anyhow guess one! hahas
james: amen!
seepeng: ahhhhhhhhssssss!!!! hahahahas. it's gna get stuck in my head.
des: it was ministering XDD
tucky: NOOO!!! hahas
kar: YA!!!! lols.
pete: actually it was up for quite sometime already, but anyways, thanks!!!

yays! breakthrough!
today is the first sunday in a very long time that i stayed home the whole day.
spent last night chatting with JOB online and basically, it was a really nice chat!

spent the day watching tv, sleeping and using the comp. my mommy made green bean soup for me and my sis went to j8 for like.. the sixth time in one week. i cant even spend 2 hrs in tt place without complaining. wahahas. okaes..

then spent the evening chatting with james kang and he was complaining abt his pokemon game being corrupted and that he should have chosen squirtle instead of charmander. ahas. so lame.

anyways, linhui, tingfong and some of my other classmates taking re-exams tomorrow. all the best you guys!!! you're in my prayers.

okaeessss... shall go and prepare my shepherding now!!!! wonder where's my joyce??? hahas.

introducing to you, my new spiritual buddy.

koh kar chian! i'm so happy XDD

yepps. so today was a special day for me because i found my new spiritual buddy. but there's one person i would like to thank. Job Lim Zijie!!!! wahahahas. actually, for a long time i wanted to ask her already, but i had a fear of rejection so i kept putting it off, until a few days ago, zijie encouraged me to go and ask. and i did!!! yay!! i have partially overcome my fear of rejection.

shepherded heidi today XD and both of us were late. she's the 'wahahahaha' sheep and im the 'haha, wadever' shepherd!! lols!!! we did lot of stupid things on the way to the mrt station to meet jiahao! and jiahao converted!! yays!!! got really high with my cg during lunch, and i totally love this CG alot!!! anyways, during service was sitting behind guo wei and he kept moving around and i was very distracted. so i was like... GUOWEI!!!!!!! then he turned around and gave me a very spastic look and i cudden bear to scold him. hahas.

so went for lunch, did the usual UA stuff den went to nexus for meeting. and today was so cool la. spent most of the meeting in darkness but it helped me to meditate more on God and while gideon was talking, so many visions flashed through my mind!!! yes!!!!

went to PS with the usual people like des, tiffany, clarence, deng, keith, yining etc. and then.. ii saw my shepherd! and yushan! HAPPINESS!!!! and i told my shepherd something! heeeeeees. i love my shepherd!!!!

took train home and now im here!!!!

Shall sleep soon cause i told xiao hua that i will sleep at 2+.
anyways... i really wanna say now that RC MANAGEMENT TEAM ROCKS!!! hahas. seriously. but really gotta thank des and deng for today. for making sure everything went smoothly. and my one and only dearest gladys and wenzhen for the deco and pete for helping out!! yay!!!!
ok. basically, we rock la!! looking forward to next friday's programmes!!!

today was like a day camp.
was at rc from 11 am to 630pm.
totally drained after morning devotion, but the fellowship at the rc (mostly nea and nec) kept me awake and going.

morning devotion was for me and i was ministered!!! yay!!!!! thanks desmond xD
den slacked and they played a movie and hung arnd with pete and kar. was mostly hanging around with donavan, des, pet, deng and kar. and later on, clarence. and we did something quite dumb. hahas.

helped out des with guitar class and me and pete were being retarded!! heeees. okaes. so slacked at macs for a very long time and went home with deng and xiao hua. and a topic was brought up.

we were just talking abt the frenzy drama and the part where yihui had to slap pete. although it was gentle, it was sure hard for her.

it's because of the brotherly/sisterly love. it's so hard to hurt someone you love, whether it's physical or emotional. i can testify cause there was one time when i was in P5 or P6, i rmb slapping my sister and crying tons after that. love is a strong thing, between friends, families, etc. it's nvr easy to hurt someone you love, so let's treasure the ppl we have around us XD

ok.. shall go renovate NEA2 blog. got inspiration liaos XDD hahas

thanks pete, deng, kar and des for the fellowship today. and keith and clarence for the later part XDD

God always makes a way.
so actually, my mom wanted us to go malaysia from 22 december to 31 december.
meaning if i went, i would miss christmas services, carollings and stayovers. so my mom asked me if i was free and i did not dare to tell her no because of christmas service. so i prayed. and den this is the conversation.

mom: so how?
me: can dun go on christmas?
mom: why?
me: cause i wanna go church.
mom: you must go is it?
me: well, sort of.
mom: ok then. then we'll go on the 27, 28 and 29.

YAY!! hahahahahs

long day tomorrow.

after frenzy!!! with see peng and kar. these girls are the best. and i really dunno wad i would do without them XDD thanks for everything girls and i love you guys tonns!!!
after frenzy, my cg went to take neoprints at hereen. yes, he guys did to. only half the CG was there and we wer esqueezing like dunno what.

close up XDDD

another close up XDD

I LOVE NEA2 SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sighs...
haiz...
im sad...
im really sad...
because...

















XIAO HUA (keith) JUST BEAT ME IN CHECKERS!!!!! (wo bu gan yan!!!)
hahahahas. im so bored and hungry now.
and my printer and scanner are down.
rahhhs.
just remembered a funny conversation between me and donovan when we saw him at PS on our way home.

me: donavan! what kind of games you plan?! make 2 of my CG memberd injure themselves!! (i said this jokingly)

donavan: ok, im sorry. next time i'll plan better games ok? I'll ask all of you to go and watch a movie and after the movie you all will write down what you guys learnt. (he said this jokingly, well, i hope so. hahas)

me: crap la you! hahahhahas.



okaes. xiao hua is MIA!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhs. im bored. but getting sleepy. ok... i shall sleep now XDD

rushed down for MCG.
didn't play games cause i studied and kar accompanied me..
drama was verrry nice. dance too!
keith and monica fell down during games.

ao after MCG, took photos den left with keith and louis to find yushan. supposed to study but then my CG came then they wanted to take neoprints so i went along. 9 people into one booth already very squeezy. imagine the whole cg taking neoprints. hahas. walked around hereen then to PS then home XD

so glad i spent time talking to heidi today XDD
will upload neoprints soon!

had lessons from 2 to 530. was so happy i didn't make any plans for after that. i was practically dead when it ended. went to get my eyes checked: left- 125, right- 50.

school again tomorrow. and i'll be late for frenzy =( oh wells.

cudden wake up for class!!! was toooo tired.
woke up at 1 when keith messaged me. we were supposed to study but i was TOOO tired so i came home. went to the VCD shop before that to look for something but i cuddeny find them =((

came home and slept! too tired lahs...

okaes. im sick. sneezing and coughing and all. pooey!

i was so dreading today la. as in the later part. nvm, shall not talk about it.
went to have lunch with my mom and sister before going to meet rachel.
met her at plaza sing and we went to buy flowers!! heees.
then walked to YMCA to witness water baptism. enjoyed myself. andtook alot of pics.
went to paradiz centre to eat den to parklane to see guitars. the guy at one of the shops very nice. i bought 2 picks.

left to meet my family for dinner. and let's not talk about that.
anyways.. today deng's mom was at the water bapt. and she knows my mom. then i told my mom that she was there. and this was our conversation.

mom: yea. i know. i sent her there to spy on you to check out why you're so busy everyday.
me: really?! (i believed ok?)
mom: *nags nags nag abt me always going out and she dussen know what i'm doing.
sis: mich, why you so stupid? cant you tell that mommy's lying?
me: wah lao!!

then i messaged yeong deng and he went HAHA! im so naive. hahas.
oh wells, got lessons tomorrow. hotcakes in the morning with meinu? maybe. hees.
and thank loadds kar for listening!!

james took out his brain. he became dumb.
he gave me his brain and i became smart!!!!!!
he was getting too dumb so i gave him back his brain.
but he was still dumb!! hahas

okok. so lame la!!!
my shepherd has cute sheeps!!!!

i realised that recently i've developed a bad habit.
if i wanna prevent myself from crying, i will bite my lower lips or my fingers. but gently lahs. omg. hahas.

slept at 530, again. woke up at 11, again. hahahas.
wanted to go back to sleep but PETE TONG called me. Got my dad to send me to S11. Didn't study much and pete caught me stoning. left halfway during believers' gathering to fetch rachel lim and janice. yepps. then they left early and was feeling quite sick after sending them off. I think i almost fainted during worship but i prayed and God regained my strength XDD

but after that i got a stomach ache and was feeling moody and all since after service. Went to Le Meridian to do admin stuff den to info counter to find yong kang after that went to lan shop with seepeng and keith. den clarence, keith and see peng followed me to s11 to eat. and den went back to the shop to find BRYAN!!! YAY!!! but after that, something happened la. and i didn't want to talk to anybody or let anyone see me crying, so i left. den my bestie called me and we talked and he's the only one who knws how i feel right now. Well, if this is God's plan, then i will follow. But how i wish there was someway i could prevent it from happening =(

Water bapt tomorrow!! heees. anyone know where to find a purple apple?

seeing the thing that happen to me today, it was so hard to control my tears. but thank You God for helping me to be strong. I know it's hard, but for her, i'm gonna do it.

today's prayer meet, i was so glad i went.
Epehsians 4:20. That verse touched me so much. For quite some time, I've been wanting to do so much more for God, but i kept letting discouragement bring me down. I felt that people were being very unfair to me and not sensitive to my feelings. To a point that i felt that i cudden do much. I almost gave up. I felt useless. But awhile after that, these 2 words have been popping into my mind, DREAM BIG. After the major discouragements which completely brought me down, people have been telling me personally to DREAM BIG. DREAM BIG for Him. I have 2 BIG short-term DREAMS. I think only less than 5 people know abt them. But I'm gonna let God do His work.

I know I can do it, cause in Him, nothing is impossible. No one said it was gonna be easy, but with God's guidance, strength and comfort, and know I can do it!!! I have faith in God that He's gonna bring me through.

to end off this post, just wanna thank Kar Chian and Keith for their constan encouragement and care and concern which has touched me XDD thanks loadds you guys XDD

wheees. i just woke up. heees.
slept at 530 am. and when i was just abt to close my eyes, someone messaged me. nd i was thinking, which crazed idiot will sms me at 530 am in the morning? in the end it was keith!! hahas. we slept arnd the same time.

used my time wisely yesterday. soend abt 4 hours studying AMATHS. den at night was reading DEATH NOTE!!! wahahas. soo cool la!!

wells, im off to go and play piano now XDD

so little time, so much to do.

i've got 2 months before my AMATHS qualifying exams which is very important to me cause if i fail, i would have to drop the subject. and there's goes my chances of getting into JC cause i need to pass at least 6 subjects and my chinese or FnN is a most definitely fail.

2 months minus all my ministry, student leaders camp, church camp etc etc.. i probably only have one month. and for the first 2 weeks of holidays i have to go back to school everyday for AMATHS lessons!!

i really wanna pass with good marks this time!!!

rahhhhs... really gotta plan my time well then.

my shepherd mde me cry cause what she said touched me alot.. I LOVE YOU SHEPHERD!!!!

I really wish i had gone school earlier or later.
It hurt me to see someone drifting so far away from You because of such redundant things. those kind of things don't last forever, but God, only You last forever. And only You love us wholeheartedly.

well, school was quite boring today. But things brightened towards the en of the day when Linhui showed up with her mom. SHE'S PROMOTING!!!! (but has to take re-exams first) and joel too!! yes!! can you feel my happiness? heeeees. i love linhui luhs!!!

after school went to have lunch then watched death note. L is so cute la!!! hahahas. loved the movie alot. Walked around while then came home.

Im really getting more and more tired each day. I'm so drained. why won't he/she listen and just let me go?

HEES. LEE JUN'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION!!!!

had to reformat my com again because some stupid virus attacked my desktop. oh wells, nvm.
gotta take AMATHS mastery test so will be like banging hard on my amths during holidays. because of this, my mom wanted me to come home straight after school. but my class position was 12/40. that's how bad my class did. oh wells.

didn't really regret going to school today. hads tons of fun. walked up to class with tucky den we started crapping with the others and played uno and murderer. poor jenalyn. lent her my ipod cause jon , vic and tucky were singing to her. hahas. i was fine until meiyi came to talk to me abt some stuff and i teared. but didn't let anyone see. im glad 2 ppl knoe abt wad's gg on and it makes life so much easier too. when mr lee and i were talking abt it, i also almost cried but thank God for giving me self control.

oh wells.. shall go and take a nap now. will start mugging for my amaths like tomorrow or something. ciao!

oh yay!! i finally went out with my GIRLFRIEND <3 today!!!! *happiness*!!!!
went to visit my ah ma den went to meet the rest at amk mrt. since most of them wanted to go ECP, me and kar were left alone to go city hall where we walked until we almost died. all because of keith la!! omg!! every shop we went i was like looking for a place to sit!! and i still cant find the pokemon toy!!!! *CRIES LOUDLY*

anyways.. after talking to kar kar today, i felt so much better. cause i let all of my burden and anger out... anger in a nice way la. hahas. thanks alot kar kar!!

i dunnno what to say.
day started off by going to family court.
i cried la when they rejected!!! sorry, i'm a compassionate person.
so i guess my day started off bad?

rushed down for shirley's lesson!! i was late la!! den while crossing the road, pete gave me a scare. then like sat with him during the lesson and my pen dropped!!! ok.. i dropped 2 pens and deng said it was very me. oh.. they played mighty to save!!! i love it la!!! sermon was definitely touching and i believed it touched the non-believers, who eventually became new believers!!! gideon met us awhile den went to have lucnh, but i was doing admin stuff. thanks stephen for guiding me and giving me advice!

so ate and slacked and stuff. den was sitting at the steps of cuppage level one and crapping. hahas. so fun!!!! walked alot then finally settled down at PS macs and talked and slacked and stuff. trained home and my dad picked me up from the mrt station.

i feel so blessed to have an open relationship with my family.

im super sad now. i dunno why im always the last one to know everything. im so so upset today. but God will be my source of comfort XD

got alot of pics so i'll compile and post them tomorrow!!
after PM, we went to meet lee jun to celebrate his birthday XD
den slacked around at an unknown place and sang, took pics, crapped and loadds of stuff.
hees. service tomorrow!!!

*what i really need now, is an 853 bus ride. but, i guess i'll never get it.

best friend, although we're not close anymore. i'm still here for you. waiting to talk to you XDD

**i cudden find the pokemon toy!! i walked the whole PLAZA SING and cudden find even one!! i die die must find!!!

got alot of pics so i'll compile and post them tomorrow!!
after PM, we went to meet lee jun to celebrate his birthday XD
den slacked around at an unknown place and sang, took pics, crapped and loadds of stuff.
hees. service tomorrow!!!

*what i really need now, is an 853 bus ride. but, i guess i'll never get it.

best friend, although we're not close anymore. i'm still here for you. waiting to talk to you XDD

slacked day!
didn't go school and zhicai scolded me!!! =( hahas.
met heidi, jocelyn and yong kang for lunch and we slacked for a long long time then i went to buy mr bean tauhwey den came home and slept.

woke up and went to meet jared for dinner!! i love you la jared!! on the way home meat sean chew and we walked back together. damn, the PSI is reaching hundred soon! i wanna go sentosa can?!!!!! james kang wants to be baptised as MICHELLE!!! hahas. lol. wadever la.

take my dear GIRLFRIEND <3

God.. i pray that you will help this dear friend of mine fet through this touch period. although his heart is already hardened, i know tt deep down inside he still loves You, and acknowledges You. Hearing what happened to him, i almost cried. I'm so burdened for him. God, make a way and guide Him and let him see Your light again.

oh pooey... kang rui is sick!!!!! take care la kang rui!

wheee.. i slept at 5am. woke up at 10. met deng and yining at 11. went to j8 at 12. ate and slacked until 230 then headed off to liyen's hse for CG. CG today, although short, was a blast la!!!!!!! teaching was fun.. cause we read this verse PSALMS 119:103, and the conversation after that goes like this:

deng: what can be sweeter then honey?
me and yining: me!
everybody: =.="'
jon quek: sweeter honey....
everbody: =.="' =.="'

hahahas. walked back to j8 after that and slacked at macs. the manager was very cute la. after that, me and keithy left to amk cause he wanted to make contacts. then deng and heidi came to find us. the ppl at the shop were very nice and patient. went to AMK MACS, which i under renovation, to eat fries and drink water. saw scott. and the manager at macs recognizes me! hahas.

walked around and saw gideon then im home now!!! yay!! and im like so stupid cann... i typed a message to a dear friend who i have not met in almost a year... and he never replied, then i was very sad.. but only today then i realised i didn't send the message!!! hahas. so i sent it to him in the afternoon.
and we're chatting now!!! dear friend!!! i miss you loadds la!! after your exams we must must must meet up XDD

oh.. and i totally love my CG!

stupid haze is giving me really bad headaches.
didn't go school and mr ang called to see i i had the symptoms of the stomach disease. but i didn't. woke up at about 1 then jared (who ponned as well) came over and we had KFC delivery and slacked and watched tv. then he left and i took a nap. woke up and left the house to celebrate my sister's dinner. jing mei came along. ate until i was very very full!!! well, just wanna say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister.

oh yay! i passed my chinese!!!!! definitely God's grace. i passed my humanities and those i failed i didn't fail too badly (except FnN)!!! my only prayer now is that not too many people will retain. i'll probably be super sad la!!! spent the day messaging seepeng, kar and keith!

spent the day in school gettin back results, playing uno and sleeping. definitely enjoyed school today. took pics with rach and shuwen.

headed to meet rach with yining at j8. the haze was super horrible la! ZAP THE HAZE AWAY!!! had macs and we talked alot! i enjoy spending time with them. my sister dropped by too. so ate and then walked around awhile and we headed to RC to stone. i left at about 530 cause i was feeling so tired and down. and den yining sent me a message that got me crying. it's like... very few people remember the dreams i have for God, and she was one of them who remembered. thanks loadds girl! you have my support!

yay! not plannign to go school tomorrow. heees XD

i feel so.... enlightened.
my dear friend, close buddy. thanks for enlightening me. i so so appreciate it alot. you have talked sense into me and gave me great advice. your my God sent. wahahahas. thanks for all your care and concern! thanks for speaking into my life and helping me get through this draining and tough period XD but the more you talked, the more i teared. cause alot of things you said were true, but most imptly, i was touched. really thanks alot! we're gonna do great things for HIM and HIS people XDDD

well.. im so much happier now. (although hungry) but really wanna thanks loadds of ppl for making my day or engouraging me. thanks loadds. to dawn, seaweed, seepeng, kar, des, keith and deng!! XDDDD

i love my family of God.

happy 15th birthday my dearest shuwen!!

day started well. mom cooked breakfast den my family sat around just joking and stuff. headed to meet the people at amk mrt and then we went to causeway to have lunch and played arcade!! i was really really tired today. hahas. dad came to pick me up and went to meet my mom and sis at plaza sing for dinner. so yihui, freedy, weilun and 2 unknowns. and i stupidly thought they were studying! hahas. so ate and den came home! school tomorrow. sian!

last night wussen discouragment, it was disappointment.
today was discouragement.

i really wished i didn't have to hear what was going on. i didn't wanna hear anymore, just in case i broke into tears, so i just said: can we walk in front.
well, i guess there's nthing i can do abt it. i have no say.
i wrk so hard, yet nthing.

oh wells, today was quite bad for me la.
had holy comm in the morning and i was super sleepy.
then went to find AQUILA who accompanied me down to s11. XD
had CG lunch and den went for service. praise was super rocking today la!!! i loved it!!!
jasmine preached a good and powerful sermon and one part of the altar call was for me. i think only kor kor will knw la.

lunched and i was very..... dunno how to say la. just didn't feel like talking much. went for meeting and i was very very very tired. went to eat with kar, gyoza, leonard and weiloong and i home now. rahhs.. i really dunno what to do now.

I'll sing Your praises forever

Deeper in love with You

Here in Your courts where I'm close to Your throne

I've found where i belong.

I belong to God and there's nowhere else i rather be then in His presence.

WHEES!!! ENJOYED TODAY!
woke up and went to meet des, tiffany, yining and guozhang to watch movie. and and and i saw my beloved ANGIE CHEN JIE YIN!!! i miss her loadds la. and i love her loadds too laa.
watched the ballad of ricky bobby!! it was so hilarious la!! hahas. went to rc for PM den had dinner and my shepherd joined us for dinner!! went to bus some stuff den headed to punggol park with northeast to play!!! has lots of fun taking pictures and stuff!!! den bussed home and has alot to think abt.

well.. gotta prepare stuff for tomorrow.

--my dearest. i miss you alot. i miss hanging out with you. i miss going out with you. i miss getting high with you. i miss having someone to cry to. i miss our long 2 hour plus talks. i miss talking to you about God's greatness. i miss having you come my house. i just miss you. my dearest, do you know that you left me hanging? and you left, just like that, without notice. my dearest, do come back.. or at least.. give me a call? please.. you're like a sister to me. you're actually more than a sister, a friend, a buddy, you're just someone so precious to me. i love you my dearest, i really do.

i handed in my coursework! yay! finally!! thanks loadds my lovely linhui XD

cabbed down to NORTHPOINT to meet heidi and jocelyn and we ate.. swensens. spent abt $20 there. walked around NORTHPOINT and then left for bugis to meet deng. walked around bugis street and den the 2 girls left and kith came and the 2 guys dragged me around bugis street for 2 hours. finally, they decided they were hungry so we went to BUGIS JUNCTION to eat at KFC and surprisingly, we saw quek quek and brad pete! hahas. so we ate and stuff den took bus home and crapped on the way to the bus stop!

was super tired on the bus. hahahas.
yay!

-- it's time to end. it's time to move on. a relationship i've been trying to mend, it's finally time to end it. there's no use going on. i guess, it's the end of a once beautiful friendship.

thanks brother for last night.
thank You God for speaking to me through him.
it was divine.

i love this family of God.

YAY!!! EXAMS ARE LIKE FINALLY OVER!!!! HAHAHAHHAS.

woke up at 630 and went to AMK MACS to meet linhui for breakfast from 7 to 930. we really focused ok. and we were starving but we decided to wait for stanley to come to eat breakfast but he pangsehed us. hahas

den alot of sec 4s came and that stupid daryl neao came to irritate us. and me and linhui got pissed because of something la. while walking to bus stop, got bird shit fell in the middle of us.. we were so near to getting hit. hahas. she is so cute can? telling me her story and telling me that she cried over it. hahas.

went to school and took exam which was totally screwed. had CG after that. left with aaron, keith and YK, den went with keith to AMK central and shopped. den to j8 were the rest came to meet us and we walked around. then we saw guozhang and had dinner. after dinner i went to TPY to meet jared whom i have not seen in such along time. slacked arnd awhile den i took bus home!

gotta burn midnight oil for FnN coursework!

It was written by an 8-year-old named Danny Dutton, who lives in Chula Vista, CA. He wrote it for his third grade homework assignment, to "explain God." I wonder if any of us could have done as well.

EXPLANATION OF GOD

"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die, so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grownups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way he doesn't have to take up his valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers."

"God's second most important job is listening to prayers. An awful lot of this goes on, since some people, like preachers and things, pray at times beside bedtime. God doesn't have time to listen to the radio or TV because of this. Because he hears everything, there must be a terrible lot of noise in his ears, unless he has thought of a way to turn it off."

"God sees everything and hears everything and is everywhere which keeps Him pretty busy. So you shouldn't go wasting his time by going over your mom and dad's head asking for something they said you couldn't have."

"Atheists are people who don't believe in God. I don't think there are any in Chula Vista. At least there aren't any who come to our church."

"Jesus is God's Son. He used to do all the hard work, like walking on water and performing miracles and trying to teach the people who didn't want to learn about God. They finally got tired of him preaching to them and they crucified him But he was good and kind, like his father, and he told his father that they didn't know what they were doing and to forgive them and God said O.K."

"His dad (God) appreciated everything that he had done and all his hard work on earth so he told him he didn't have to go out on the road anymore. He could stay in heaven. So he did. And now he helps his dad out by listening to prayers and seeing things which are important for God to take care of and which ones he can take care of himself without having to bother God. Like a secretary, only more important."
"You can pray anytime you want and they are sure to help you because they got it worked out so one of them is on duty all the time."

"You should always go to church on Sunday because it makes God happy, and if there's anybody you want to make happy, it's God!

Don't skip church to do something you think will be more fun like going to the beach. This is wrong. And besides the sun doesn't come out at the beach until noon anyway."

"If you don't believe in God, besides being an atheist, you will be very lonely, because your parents can't go everywhere with you, like to camp, but God can. It is good to know He's around you when you're scared, in the dark or when you can't swim and you get thrown into real deep water by big kids."

"But...you shouldn't just always think of what God can do for you. I figure God put me here and he can take me back anytime he pleases.
And...that's why I believe in God."

I am persuaded that neither death nor life shall be able to separate us from the love of GOD. --Romans 8:38

recieved this in an email from my bundle of joy, heidi! hahas
i'm really super proud of her and i'm super happy to see her growing! I LOVE YOU SHEEPIE!

was really upset last night cause of what someone said to me 2 days in a row. i was pissed and i felt so useless. but then i seeked God and He gave me peace and comfort.

well.. exams are ending tomorrow and there's one thing i will miss: meeting up with the usual crazy, kuku ppl like des, tiffany, guozhang, seepeng.... etc. etc. will miss the fellowship and over this exams period is when i got closer to my classmates as well! really wanna take this chance to get to know them better.