limit is reaching

i feel like... there's nothing different about "us" now.
there are like cliques everywhere.
especially the girls' side.
and i dun like it.

i feel so disconnected with church people now.
i really really wanna spend more time other then in church or cg but it has come to a point that i don't even know who to ask out.

it's not that i dun enjoy spending time with outside friends or school friends. i love everyone of them. but i just think, especially now, that spending time with church friends is more worth my time and the time spent together is more fruitful.

im so glad im meeting rachel tomorrow. so much we have to catch up on. and so much i want to tell her.

well... even as my family is going through this crisis, i'll still rejoice in the Lord. like Paul when he was in prison, he said that he knows what it's like to have plenty and what it's like to have little, and even when he was going through a crisis, he still rejoiced in the Lord. i wanna be like Paul. (not sim yuqian Debbie Pauline). hahas.

i have had plenty, and i thank the Lord for that. But now, as i have little, i also want to thank the Lord for that. Cause I know that it's a test He's putting me through.

money does not make the world go round. it cannot supply and it cannot by happiness, love or true joy. It is God and the people who He sent into this world for you that makes it go round. Something i have learnt.

test of true friendship

have been busy with SL camp planning the past few days.
had no time to meet up with anyone, esp gab and diane.
met up with albie yesterday XD

anyways.. about my title.
i had quite a bad quarrel with rainer last night.
i was angry and pissed and everything.
and i was sad cause he's one of my really uber close friends.

but things are alright now.
yupyup! my SELF-PROCLAIMED hot sexy little hunk of a friend! hahas

yups. and albie is my midnight buddy!

CAMP SOON!

happy campers

courtesy of MERVIN TANG!
michelle and mervin are cute.
hahas. our names start with M.
and dun you people think that M&Ms are just adorable. hurhur.

wasted my day away at home.
got anna to do my hair. it's okay lahs.
maybe when i get money i'll go and redo it professionally.

busy weeks ahead.
Planning for "Camaraderie" (SL camp)
"CAMARADERIE" next week plus alumni camp.
WFL the following week and then finally, X29!

ohs! and finally going jamming!

hmmms, about last night, i really enjoyed myself with darryl. it's been long since i actually talked to someone about all these random things going through my mind. Darryl, you're a great friend!

i wanna learn photography. to get a new skill.
and when i get my Canon Powershot, im going to go to the beach with love and take random pictures.

and i wanna get my Takamine Semi Acoustic.

but first, i need a job.

sidenote: it's time for me to stop being nice and stand-up for myself. to stop letting people treat me like a punching-bag. it's time for me to be myself and not care what others things. to be able to make my own decisions and to follow my own principles and ways of doing things. thanks darryl (:

loves <3

today was just love.
everyone was late for today's pre-briefing briefing.
hahas. slept at 4am due to CSI supreme sunday. hahas

after briefing the juniors, went to eat with muthu, bell, nana and rainer at 421.
ran back because of the rain and job hunted and den got down to business. it was fun lahs. Headed to hub with them plus sean. saw IVAN working in fairprice. Went to meet albie and diane for awhile before joining them again. trained to Orchard cause rainer wanted to repair his phone. and den we went to taka to eat and den i went to meet darryl!!! im so happy that i finally got to meet him and it was even planned! so we went wheelock, den we slacked at the coffee bean and i actually PS-ed the rest. after coffee bean headed over to Hereen and we really did a lot of talking and catching up. I really missed him a lot. yay! and he's nice but he's just so irritating. rahhhhs.

okaes, so we trained back and i met rainer and bel once again at am mrt and now im home and tired. Interviews tomorrow! wish me the best people!

i love my mummy and daddy

hahas. that is just so random.
hmmms, anyways.. i was emo yesterday.
because of some stuffs. den albie came to talk to me and i felt alright after talking crap with him.
thanks desmond for asking if i was alright X)

service today!
was quite not in the mood to go but ended up enjoying myself and having a good time.
NED3 is still love.
bussed home and bathed and den chatted with gab and albie.

well, that's my saturday.
HOPE KIDS TOMORROW!

disappointed

i feel so disappointed in myself for succumbing to peer pressure. i really let myself down. im feeling so sad today. i really really regret not going for grads dinner. oh wells...

im feeling so troubled but things are gonna be alright XD

sentosa and the sun

sunday:
amazingly, i stayed home. and slept.
i slept at 7am in the morning.
was on the phone luhs.

yesterday:
went to sentosa with them!
went to diane's church to meet her mom.
headed to vivo and went to see animals at pet safari!
den we went to sentosa.
sadly, no sun but we still had fun!
played soccer and volleyball and i was the first to get wet! albie! hahas.
left at about 430 and went to serangoon to go to ti amo for dinner and to see gab.
home-d!

today:
woke up and cleaned hamsters' cages.
attempted to clean my room, cleaned a BIT only.
it's super messy now.
went for a swim and some sun bathing on my own.
im tanner!
met up with brother chiam!
dragged him to J8 with me so that i could buy some stuff.
home-d!

and tomorrow, im meeting the loves!

i miss them so much! we're all not going for prom but going to have CHOMPS instead. im so happy that i'm going to see them tomorrow! got cg and then out with sean and rainer to go for 2 job interviews! whee! friday i got another one!

tonight was love <3

went to church today.
im so happy that i went.
but my body was aching.
had disctrict gathering.

lunched den off to NUOVO for bbq.
uber fun.
diane and gab came. den sean and rainer and we had FUN!
walked from YCK to AMK and had loadds of laughter and lame-ness!!!

tomorrow is spring cleaning for my room!
God, no cockroaches please!!!

btw, carlos is cute! hahas.

perfection

is something no one can achieve.
only God is perfect.
everyone has their flaws and weaknesses.
one person's strength may be another person's weakness.
accept one another cause God accepted you first.
we live for the audience of one.

when we worship, we worship for God only, not for others.
why care about the person standing next to you or behind you or even the musicians and singers? does it really matter how they play or sing? ultimately, our worship is for God only.

anyways... sis left this morning. i was quite sad lahs.
went back to sleep and woke up to meet diane.
took 22 all the way to tampines and shopped. i saw juihsin! i was super shocked cause we were like.. in TAMPINES! hahas. crashed TP to go and look fo gabriel. bussed back to his place den i went to meet brother chiam for dinner. had a really good time of catching up. love ya brother chiam!

yay! long day tomorrow. got stuff to do. im so tired!

tensed.

the atmosphere at home is really tensed.
that's why im so reluctant to come home today.
(or yesterday, let's just call yesterday today)

went to granny's in the morn.
mom and dad fought, i got dragged in and was lost.
i felt so..... RAHHHS!
thanks JAN for sticking up for me and for my religion.

left cause i really couldn't take it anymore.
CG and den to east coast with the girls.
really enjoyed myself and talk with yuqian at macs and seepeng on the bus.
i think seepeng is really my Godsent, for being able to identify with me for a lot of things. LOVE YA GIRL! let the past be the past.

homed.
sis flying off tomorroe.
quite sad lahs.. but oh wells.

so what's next?

i've lost my momentum for blogging.
must be because of the O levels.

yea.. so anyways.
my second day of freedom was spent doing nothing.
literally nothing.

woke up, watched heroes.
headed over to diane's place at about 3 and watched stomp the yard.
albie and gabriel were there as well.
den the 4 of us headed out and cudden decide on a place to eat.
went to haji karim's.

after that, they came to my place and made noise.
HAHAS! yea yea..
dats bout it.
yups. love all of them! hahahas.

ciao!

on cloud nine but i'm feeling sad.

well, the day we have all been waitingfor has finally come.
the end of Os.
the big fat Os.
been working our butt off for the past year just for these 3 weeks.

goodbye deyi!
feeling emotional now cause it's the end of Os.
contradicting? nah.

happy cause no more studying!
sad cause i have to leave so many things behind now.

i'm gonna miss fourZEROfive.
we actually made it.
we survived all the condemnation from the peopl around us.
and we made it.
you guys have made my last year in deyi an unforgettable one.
friendships formed this year are ones that i want to last for as long as possible.
thanks for all the laughter and tears that have helped me to be a better person.
you guys, you're the best.

gonna miss linhui, peishan, huihui, vanessa, lihong, rabaah, rachel
the girls who made class fun. the girls who i could talk about anything with. they taught me how to love and have fun. you girls are the best!

gonna miss shuwen, tucky, jonathan, jinleong, rainer.
the group i get crazy with. the group i have studied with and all the after paper meals. fun. thanks for showing me how to have fun! and im gonna miss you asses like crazy.

gonna mis studying with the study group.
afiq, albie, diane. ocassionall kengleong, adib, nicolas, gabriel.
you peeps made studying so fun for me. im gonna miss you people the most as we're nt from the same schools. the friendships forged in these few months are friendships that i treasure. love ya guys.

albie&diane:
thanks for everything. for always listening to me and letting me be myself.

well, nonetheless, that's life.
in life, things are always changing.
people come, people go.
true friends stay.

it's time for me to get back to my usual life, but with a changed perspective of life.

life is good.

tomorrow is the day.

that my Os will finally be over.
Im happy but im realy quite sad too.

no more study group.
had the last one today.
really love albie, afiq and diane to the core lahs.
for making studying so fun and relaxed.
nt to forget adib, gabriel, kengleong and nicolas. hahas

gna miss shuwen, rainer, tucky, jinleong, jon and tingfong.
gna miss the after exam hang outs.

gna miss fourZEROfive.
gna miss having something to do!
ahhhhhs.

oh wells, gt lots to post but im really tired now.
soon!

ciao!
and diane, i love ya!

look how far we've come.

God has just been way too good to me.

nothing can express how gld i am that this week is finally over.
it's definitely been a crazy week.
full of ups and downs.
lots of stress and crying and laughing and smiling.
lots of praying.

really thank God for rachelfong, yuqian, dianelee.
for being my listening ears this week when i know i just had to let my emotions out.
esp last night, shared my heart out with diane.

thanks for keith(who im chatting with now).
for just chatting with me and making me feel happy.
hahas.

just thank God for so many things.
love goes beyond words.
that's all i can say.

till next time den XD

soon.

im emotional today.
im sorry people.
i really tried not to.

guess im just stressed.
and it's like when the Os are ending then i'm stressed? hahas.
i just had to let it all out.
to cry it out.
i felt sooo much better after crying just now.

i wanted to skip chinese paper today.
cause i feel so demoralised when people tell me not to speak in chinese cause i sound weird.
but, i guess God has really been blessing me these days.
the paper was great. i can pass!

studying has been fun the past few days.
made some new friends.
gabriel, kengleong, adib.
thanks ar afiq XD

studymates have been keeping me alive (mainly afiq, diane and albie)
non stop laughter and fun. got study lahs.
wells, i gta sleep now.
HOTCAKES!
loves <3