i really really do love my CG alot mans...
but i was quite depressed over some stuff.
and they always cheer me up unknowingly.

after CG: me, yining, jocelyn, dionne, jiewei, deng, keith and louis were at popular just walking around. then jiewei left and the rest of us walked to macs and we slacked, seriously slacked, and did stupid stuff. then talked to deng abt something which has been burdening me. So, louis and keith made a video which i will upload if i get the permission. hahas.

so watched Singapore Idol on tvmobile. JOAKIM IS FINALLY OUT!!! home now and mommy says she's proud of my results XD so i shall aim for below 20 for L1R5 for my EOY exams.

--dude, i cried while reading your blog. I feel such a burden for you. I hope everything goes well for you and please talk to me kkiex? I wanna help you. Just want you to remember, whatever happens, just find peace in God and you will get the peace XD.
all this is said with love and care and concern =D

God is definitely so so great.
I remember i made a promise that i wanted to do better in my studies to glorify his name.
So i got back my report book today. and i passed all my subjects, including AMATHS and CHINESE! i was like so shocked can? hahas. And my L1R5 from 39 last term is now 24!!!
i definitely have God to thank for this. I really cudden do it without Him!!

was really really angry in the morning cause somebody took my books from under my table and i was really pek chek. But i told myself not to be angry cause i didn't want to spoil my day and i was feeling better after talking to clarence. Enjoyed the teacher's day celebration. So cut my hair and now i'm home. CG later XDD

sheryl tagged.

(im dedicated)

sheryl.
1. you're tall
2. grow shorter
3. red
4. almost everything
5. Northpoint Lunch
6. Giraffe
7. Do you love me? hahahas

*if u dunno what im doing.. refer to my August 29 post.

so went out for MF today.
i was happy cause i think it was quite succesful and everyone who was supposed to come turned up. had lunch with gwen, yining and jocelyn. Then i was feeling quite sick and tired so i came home to take a short nap before my tuition.

Was woken up by my sister's call cause she was cauht in the rain. so i messaged my tuition teacher to come ten minutes later cause i ahd to pick up my sister. we were supposed to have dinner together the coffee shop but then we discovered that both of us were broke. so we bought maggi mee to cook. hahas.

tuition was quite slack cause most of the time i was chattin with my teacher. yea. CG TOMORROW!!! prays for confirmation to go sky high!! Friday morning i'm gonna go cut hair with my sister.

poor clarence!! he got braces and he's in pain. and he cant eat. poor guy. shall pray for his quick recovery!! but then again, his suffering cannot be compared to how much Jesus suffered for us. yea. hahas.. but still, hope he gets well soon.

clarence tagged me.
so....

clarence.
1. you're one of my best friends.
2. dun call yourself hot for one motnth.
3. gold
4. you rock.
5. The Ultimate Dare camp. the bubble gum, video-ing with you during concert, staying up to tell jokes.
6. ermm... a dog.
7. when will you nnot be hungry?

-- i miss her.

i overslpet.
i didn't go to school.
shit. bleaghs. hahas.

i overslpet cause i slept at 330 am.
because i was watching this movie on tv.
called FOR THE LOVE OF A CHILD.
and this movie made me cry like dunno what.
have not cried while watching a movie in a long long long time.

basically, it's all about these 2 hollywood stars, who start a organization called CHILDHELP USA to help and aid kids who have been victims of child abuse. and the movie was all based on true stories. here are some:
there's this one extremely cute 6 yr old boy called michael. and his mom abused him by using a lighted cigarette butt to burn the word 'BAD BOY' on his back At first, the centre did not want to let his Mom take him back after doing her time in jail, but eventually, she got him back and a few weeks later, Michael died because of child abuse.

another one is about this girl called sarah. she was sexually abused by her mom's boyfriend. Her mom always told her that God never makes mistakes (amen!) But one day, her mom's boyfriend said to her: "God made a mistake when he made you!" and then he cut her face with a razor which left a scar. that made me cry. Then he would abuse her by throwing her into a bath tub of hot steaming water. It was creepy and scary. So eventually, she was brought to CHILDHELP USA and her mom's boyfriend was thrown in jail. And even when her mom came and apologized, sarah refused to go home cause her mom insisted that the boyfriend continued living with them. After awhile, the mom finally let go of the boyfriend, just so that Sarah would go home, and eventually, Sarah did.

the last one is the most touching one: it's about Jacob Fletcher. After he cudden take his father's abuse, he called Childhelp and was brought to the centre. Everytime he did something bad, his dad will dig a hole in the field and throw him in fill up the hole. He was given a straw to breathe through. THAT IS SO INHUMANE!!!! my goodness. At the centre, nobody knew the real story until one night he finally broke down and told the whole story and i started crying again.

at the credits at the end of the movie, they said that the founders: SARA and YVONNE, had faith they could start and organization to help kids who have been victims of child abuse cause they out their faith in God.

Now, i know what i want to be when i grow up. A social worker. For kids. This movie is really a great movie and if u have a chance to watch it, you should.

anyways.. MF laterXDD

If you tag on my board,
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours
I kapok from SUNNY'S BLOG!! HAHAS. and since im super super bored now, i shall do for the last 3 people who tagged my dying tagboard.

gar.
1. your name is garmeng.
2.STOP DOTA!!! MUAHAHAHAHAS.
3. orange (garfield) lol
4. your funny.
5. the door banging incident.
6. cat!! (garfield)
7. when will stop playing Dota?!

marcus.
1. micro-mini-eyes and micro-curls.
2. REBOND UR HAIR!!!
3. red. (ur red adidas watch)!!
4. mr nice guy XD
5. NORTHEAST CAMP. TRIUNFO. You were my group leader.
6. rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
7. Is your nose okay?

des.
1. BROTHER!!!
2. UL!!
3. Green (you always wear that green shirt)
4. alot luh.. ur so nice to me.
5. ur 2 first sheep. bully me. sian ji pua.
6. chimpanzee!!!
7. i dunno lehs!! LOL

okaes. done.. im still bored. shuwenn not entertaining me. shall end off with my favorite phrase: SIAN JI PUA!!!!!

lalalas... i loved today la. as in the after school part.
first went to MACs with louis and yining.
Den deng deng came, then jocelyn and then keithy!! hahas.
I LOVE MY CG LA!!!

So we discussed the skit for Thursday's CG and i'm so so gonna love it!! LOL.
Then me, jocelyn, yining, deng and keith went to walk around AMK central and i really had loadds of fun XDD And i enjoy being with them and talking to them!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

yepps. Gotta go type out the script now XDD

I was studying my AMATHS.
my comp screensaver came on.
and my family pictures were running.

i miss my family in america alot.
really alot.
I've been missing out on so many things.

Gosh, why am i crying so much these few days?

-- I wanna be there for her. I wanna help her. I miss her. I want to talk to her. But why isn't she replying my calls ans SMSes?

God is definitely good.
school was the same. just that me, shuwen and rach got high during geography.

so after school went to meet yining. then i went to the canteen to and james asked me to sit down. hahas. so i sat down and chatted with him XD

i shudden have gave up on my first target. but she was wasting my time and i was getting impatient and she didn't really care that we wanted to talk to her. And with my stomach cramps it made my impatientness even worse so i told yining: "i give up. let's go." that was so wrong.

so we walked to macs and jon quek was there so i sat down and studied while yining talked to her classmates. then louis and the rest came and we had NEA2 Core team meeting. halfway through the meeting, i noticed a group of YCK girls. so i was like, I WANT TO SHARE CHRIST TO THEM!! so YK asked me to go and i dragged yining along but then i only did survey with them. And they were quite responsive!! but didn't wanna rush into sharing christ cause we were quite new to them so just went back to YK's meeting.

then we resumed the meeting. Then when meeting ended, i was like: "I WANNA SHARE CHRIST NOW!!! NOW IS 5.49 PM and I WANNA DO IT NOW!!!!" hahas. im so HIONG. So the guys notcied that the YCK girls were very bored so they said i could share. And because of their encouragements, i went to share, and again pulled YINING along. hahas.

So we talked to the girls for like 15 mins and slowly linked to sharing Christ. So we first asked if any of them have been to a church befoe, and 2 of them said yes. So then we asked if they were interested in knowing more about church and God and they said no. So i just shared my life testimony, yining's testimony, benefits of being in church and other stuff. Then shard the bridge diagram. 2 of them were very responsive. And i belive the one sititng next to me wants to recive Christ, i can feel it. And she told me she will let us know her answer tonight. And i feel so strongly that she wants it!!! PRAY!!!! When i aksed if she believes that God is real, she said yes.

YK said he could also feel that she was responsive!!! THANK GOD!!! I REALLY PRAY THAT SHE WILL DECIDE TO BE WITH GOD!!!!

Yea!! And SHUWEN said tt if she has no dance she will come for CG!! I'm so so happy!!

NEA2 18!! We're gonna do it!! We're gonna break it!!! I just know it!!! JIAYOU!!!!!

anyways, ZHICAI WAS SO COMICAL TODAY!!! HAHAHAHAS.

i was really really tired after reaching home last night.
cause i was thinking about so much throughout the whole day.
i overused my brain. hahas.

and i was uber burdened about so many stuff when i came home and it was like so... rahhhs. but after telling desmond about my conviction and my discontentment, the feeling was so.... *indescribable feeling*. a burden was lifted off and i was even more convicted. for the first time in a very long time, i cant wait for monday!!!!

I didn't fulfil my end August goal.
im so so discontented.
i'm so, *indescribable feeling*
cannot like this!!!

but then now im so so convicted. i was never never this full of conviction before. after all the strategizing with yining, my mood has only been CHIONG CHIONG CHIONG!!! we only have less than one week to reach 180 and this week only has 3 school days. it will be tough, but we're doing this for God. We've been aiming for 180 for so so long already, but with all my heart, i believe, on 2 september 2006, we're gonna hit it, once and for all!!! Can any of u sense how convicted i am.. it's so.... *indescribable feeling*
everything is possible, cause we have Christ!!! If Christ is for us, who can be against us?

SO PEOPLE!!! 6 MORE DAYS ONLY!!!! WE'RE GONNA HIT 180 ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!!!!!

God, i pray for her. I care so much for her and she's so dear to me. So so dear. Strengthen her through this tough period and comfort her.I pray that emotionally, it wont be painful for her and physically, it wont be painful for the other person. God, do miracles in their lives now.

I wanna be there for her, but i dunno what to do, i feel so helpless now. But i will pray for her.

I had a total breakdown at my void deck just now. The tears just wudden stop. So many feelings i finally let them out. After keeping everything bottled up for a long time, now the tears come. And they wont stop. The person i needed to talk to didn't pick up. And now, i dunno who to turn to.

But now God, i will turn to You. I'll seek You for comfort and peace.

oh shittaye...
im still having a bad cough..
but im like so much better now!!

i woke up this morning and i was like...
I CAN BREATHE!! hahas. (that's so lame)
but then i was very dizzy when i got to school but thank god school ended at 1130 today.
so i cabbed home, took medicine and slept.

i wanted to sleep until like 245 but then wa lao, yeong deng keep messaging me.
so met kar, janice, louis and deng at AMK macs before going to PM.

slacked at RC for a long while and i was refreshed during worship.
So Yong Kang met the RC Management Team to discuss some stuff.
soo cool la!! hahas.
then joined des and marcus to play guitar awhile then met clarence.
went for dinner and enjoyed the fellowship with des, clarence, yushan and marcus.
marcus was the centre of jokes as usual!!
sorry marcus!! didn't study with you!!

wells.. wanna affirm MICHELLE (phs) for inviting 5 of her friends without me asking to XD
me and gwen(mayflower) were talking about cough syrups. hahas. anyways.. ALL THE BEST GWEN FOR YOUR PLANNING!! hahas. okaes.. i'm off!!

oh pickles.. i'm still sick today.i woke up with my fever back. but it's gone now. thank God.
but then.. SHERYL is still sick!! and she's having an on and off fever and her prelims strted today!!! pray for her ok people?!

the medicine the doctor prescribed knocks me out for 3 to 4 hours each time. and im still sleepy npw. and i slept almost the whole day today.

anyways.. PATRICE is out of rockstar supernova.
and i want JOAKIM out of singapore idol!! now's the results show.

results are out and NURUL IS OUT LA!!!
can't belive JOAKIM is still in!!
he should kick himself out of the competition!!
okaes.. wadever. hahas.

i want to cry.
im so sick that im having trouble sleeping at night.
i keep waking up every other hour because either my nose is blocked, my nose is running, can't breathe or coughing. so sick of being sick. but i'm glad my parents allowed me to take the day off to rest at home. going to see doctor soon.

anyways, i wanna say thanks to kohwei, eugene and tuck wai for helping me during yesterday's practical XD. and the 306 girls who supported me and rachel. hahas. ok, going to see doctor now, ciao!

im still quite sick la.
and i felt so bad after FnN practical and after recess.
i thought i was going to die cause i was having such bad headaches.
thanks rach for taking care of me XDD

after deyi star( ting hui hui won!!) rushed down to rix's to open door for CG. so slacked for a very long time and then i stared praying for God to strengthen me for the CG so i could give my best.
and He really did!!! i felt so refreshed during CG!
and michelle (phs) came!!

CG was overall really great as everyone had their hearts into the CG.
ate macs with my CG for dinner then evaluation. We sure dd improve but there's ever more room for improvement!!

so after yong kang's sharing, i was so so full of conviction. i knew what i wanted to say but i cudden really say it out because im sick. so it's hard to concentrate.

EVERY SOUL IS IMPORTANT TO GOD. every single soul. even if our new believers are not very responsive, dun give up. Cause God never gave up on us. and those unconnected members and blacksliders, bring them back to God!! cause being with God is something no one should miss out on. during these 2 weeks of NE180, let's really work hard in getting one retained sheep, bring back the unconnected members and retain our new believers!! even if we hit goal, let's not stop. cause hitting goal emans we can go even further!!! so everybody, JIAYOU!!!

PETE TONG GOT ANDERSON SEC ONE CONVERT!!!!

im ultra sick now.
and im like sweating in an air-con room.
and i think im running a fever.
and i still have to go school tomorrow.
*prays for fast fast healing*

my brother flew back to america yesterday.
had to like wake up at 7!! rahhs.
so went to the airport and played with baby ALEX!
He's like the cutest baby i've ever seen.
and he's look exactly like aaron (cousin)
when i showed aaron alex's picture, he was like: oh no! i've been cloned!!!
hahas.

so went to have dim sum with alot of people.
and i sat at the kids table with: wei wei, alivia, andre, aario, alex and my sister.
and ate. and the kids played.

tuition was cancelled!! (yipee!!)
came home to sleep and do FnN practical stuff.
slept at 145 am.

today woke up feeling not so bad. jsut that my throat was killing me.
went to school and put my stuff in the food lab. but in the end, practical was postponed to tomorrow. (rahhs)

so school was actually quite ok today, with tuckwai gg around drawing smiley faces on peoples elbows. after school discussed with ms rashidah on my planning and practical stuff. then went to thompson plaza to eat with rachel. den came home, took medicine and slept. but now im feeling even worse.

GOD!! HEAL ME!!! hahahas.
i got CG tomorrow and i wanna give my best!!
and MICHELLE (PHS) is coming!!! hahas.
yea!!!

And im so proud of my sheep. She's now giving her best to come down for CG, even if it means rushing down from school XD yay! thank god for her.

when im tired, i get emotional and mel. like today.

woke up and went to see the doctor cause of my flu and cough.
my dad sent me to church and i had to pay him $2 cause of the ERP.
Service was great and sermon as well. but i was restless and tired.
lunch-ed at starhub then went for meeting which was encouraging.

after meeting went with some people to SRmcs to eat.
talked to Yushan and enjoyed it alot.
JIAYOU SISTER!!!!

talked to zhicai and encouraged him.
went to the lan shop to blow air con. hahas.
talked to yushan more and left with guozhang, jon quek, shan and clarence.
was having fun with them la and yushan gave me music tips XD
and im glad she feels ths same way as me about the thing i talked to her about.

took bus back and im home now.

--God, i have not give to you my best at all. I really wanna give to You my everything.

what's wrong with me? i'm bottling up so many things cause i'm scared to share.

what a screwy day.
school was a bore. fell asleep during MTL. Chem was quite ok. got 15/30 for my acids and bases test. so blah blah blah..

had pizza hut lunch with rachel after that and i came home to sleep, then went with my family for dinner. and ate until super full. k.. gg to catch a midnight movie soon., CLICK!!

--whatever happened to freedom of speech?!

my cousin's girlfriend is yining's cousin!!!!
singapore is just so small lar!!!

there was a fire at the block next to my block just now.
i first my parents smelt burning and they thought our void deck was on fire or something.
my first instinct was to get my handphone and my bible. then i started praying.

Eventually, the fire was at block 556. Then my first thought was: ZHEN HONG!!! (primary school friend) Cause he stays at that block. And arnd the flat which caught on fire and then i started praying for him and his family. and thankfully the next moment i saw him walking towards me.

Thank God for effecient Singapore firemen. They came within 2 to 3 minutes. and the fire was then put out. Then there was a stupid conversation between me and my kor.

Kor: show's over, can we go up now?
Me: wait!!! i wanna see of there are any people upstairs (as in inside the flat when it caught on fire)
Kor: there ARE people in the flat. The firemen!!!
Me: =.=!!!!

was supposed to meet my sheep, but she cudden rush down in time =( rahnesss..

another tiring day.
and i was like telling rachel that she has passed her sleeping aura to me.
i slept throughout most of the periods after recess.

maths and chem test.
chem test i think im gonna do badly but im quite confident abt my math cause i was chionging to teach rachel, shuwen and huihui everything in the chapter within 10 minutes and i also helped myself revise XD

after school, i went with yining to j8 and i enjoyed the time with her alot. i enjoyed talking to her and i opened up to her and even told her something no one else knows. i love her luh!!!

oh wells. geog test tomorrow.

anyways... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TRACIE AND JIANCONG!!!

i wanted to message tracie like during the first few periods but then i kept forgetting as i kept falling asleep. hahas. she said it was really retarded XD

was looking through the class file.
and there's this space for writing remarks on bad conduct.
so i was reading then alot of them said: dosruptive behaviour: ____ and ____ singing in class.

i found it quite funny! hahas.

anyways.. since i have been kicked out of my room, im supposed to sleep in my sister's room on the pull-out bed. i happened to fall asleep on my own bed while studying on it. den my kor kor kicked me off the bed and chased me to my sister's room. he didn't even let me take my pillow.

so i pulled out the bed and just slept w/o turning on the air con cause i had no blanket. then my mom came in and was like telling my sister: let jie jie sleep on ur bed, she can't sleep on the floor, later she got backache. XD (my mommy's so sweet) den after that my mommy asked me why i didn't turn on the aircon, i said i had no blanket. den my mommy told my sister: give jie jie your blanket, she's sick, she needs the thicker one. hahhahas. i love my mommy lah.

then this morning i woke up sneexing cause my sister turned on the fan and i have really bad sinuses so it was quite bad sneezing. and i came back with runny and stuffy nose and my mommy asked why my nose was like that. then i said: janelle turned on the fan early in the morning. then my mommy said: jan, dun turn on the fan, later jie jie will be even more sicked. hahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!! my mommy's so sweet!!!!

but my throat is very horrible now, and so is my flu. but God is my healer!!!
maybe meeting heidi after school tomorrow XDD

i was wayy too tired to blog last night.
anyways... my bro is in singapore, until sunday only though!!
he kickd me out of my room and didn't even let me take my pillox X(!!!

so today was really tiring for me although i slept at 9 last night. was just really tired.
im feeling very mel today.
after school had CG evaluation at AMK macs and POKEMON was there!! hahas.
saw kar hao too!!

went to pasar malam after studying for awhile den went to this place to sit.
it was actually a fountain but then there was no water so we sat.
den deng came and said: what if suddenly got water come out?
30 seconds later, the water started shooting out and we were laughing so hard. it was super funny la!! den we played awhile and now im home.

I LOVE NEA2 CORE TEAM!! XDD

--I wanna be a better shepherd!! i do!! God, help me XD

i cudden sleep last night.
kep tossing and turning in bed.
slept around 230 or 3.
horrible night.
keith said i cudden sleep cause i was probably very mel last night which is partly true la.

so so tired today. but didn't fall asleep in class.
and i felt quite sick.
having a sharp pain in the lower right side of my stomach the whole day.
had AMATS test today and was supposed to have FnN practical.
But Miss Rashidah was nice enough to postpone it to next week.
Thank God for such an understanding teacher like her (although not many give a damn)

didn't expect my this whole week to be booked.

• Monday: AMATHS test (Linear Law)
• Tuesday: Physics Test (Temperature); National Arts Exhibition @ SP
• Wednesday: Geography test (Manufacturing); some "stuff" hahas.
• Thursday: Chemistry Test (Acids and Bases); EMATHS test (Chapter 11); Guitar lesosn with Des
• Friday: So far nothing but i believe there will be something

plus all the remedials and stuff.

About the National Arts Exhibit @ Singapore Poly, it's until 1030pm tomorrow. Sec 2 student leaders will be going there to do ushering, while sec 3s will be going there to slack assist. That means i'll have to give CG a miss tomorrow =(

oh wells, shall go and take a one hour nap now, then wake up to study physics.

basically spent my day sleeping, eating, watching tv, studying, doing html, apending time with God and was on the phone with a irritant for one and a half hours.

Just now i was very very pek cheked over some stuff and i really lost my patience. Deng deng said i sounded like i was going to kill someone, but im cooled down now.

I thank God for a CG member and brother-in-Christ like deng! cause he's so nice (excpet when he gangs up with keithy to bully me) But he's always showing concern for the people around him and it's genuine concern. and he's such an easy person to talk to and he can relate with me very well. THANK GOD FOR YOU DENG DENG!!! let's continue growing and trusting in the Lord and we're gonna do great things in our school!!!!!

N LEVEL PRE:IMS START TOMORROW!!! ALL THE BEST DENG AND DES!!! YOU GUYS ARE IN MY PRAYER!!!! XDDDDD

--I want to love. I tried to love. But it's just so hard to love. God, change me to become a more loving person. i wanna give You my best.

--God.. Your just so so good. Your love for us is unconditional and being with You is the best place to be. But i dun understand why people choose to reject You or fally away from You. If only they knew about Your greatness.

Quek Quek asked me why I didn't go out today. And i typed out a list for Him.

1. no money(only $6)
2. sick (or falling sick) (totally lost my voice, flu, sore eyes and throat, headache, slight fever)
3. tired(slept less then 12 hours the past 2 days)

4. lazy(since when am I not)
5. i wanna be a good daughter and spend time with my family*halo over the head*
6. just ended tuition and im brain dead(curse logarithms!!!)

--and if you ask me for 10 good reasons i would add:--

7. I wanna plan my timetable.

8. I got homework to do.

9. Plan shepherdings.

10. i wanna stay at home and worship God XDD

therefore, i shall not go out today.

PETE KALLANG!!! hahas. (inside joke)

FOP: tiff, me, des and clarence.

Ultraviolet: PLANET SHAKERS.

Ultraviolet: this irritating MICKEY MOUSE!!! (zijie) And Stupid Sihan!!!

Ultraviolet: Desmond is in the picture!! (just tt he's behind the camera) hees.

Ultraviolet: Me and Pam outside expo.

National Day: they were performing for us.

National Day: My sister and me.

National Day: Yue Han Again ( he was wearing sun glasses at like 9pm)

National Day: Yue Han (SOO CUTEE!!!)

National Day: my 7 mnth old cousin- Isaiah(he's cute! but he resembles a monkeyXD)

NE BBQ: KARCHIAN!!!

NE BBQ: faith and me. SHE MADE ME SHRINK!!!

NE BBQ: clarence and me

NE BBQ: me, sheryl and Faith

im regretting.
I lost that chance.
I should have just said everything i planned to say on the last night of camp. I know it's in the past but it;s something i'm still clinging on to. i waited just too long.

But even after the camp, things didn;t go smoothly. the relationship began to change and things became bad until i decided to surrender my bitterness and everything became better then good. and the talk we had that night was so divine. But on that same night was when i found out maybe that chance is gone forever.

I still want to say what i had planned to say, but i guess it's too late already. if only i could turn back time, to that night, i wudden be in the position im in now.

And i know what was stopping me. The fear of rejection, the fear of getting hurt again. What did I let these stupid things ruin my chance?

God, I want another chance.

I was home at 930 pm! hahas.
I guess ZIONITES decided to be good sons and daughters and be home early! LOL!
met luannie at 730 at my hse downstairs to pass her the video cam.
then came up to sleep and then got ready to go for my holy comm duty.
I'm very very tired today so cudden really concentrate on alot of stuff during service.

Janice and Rachel Lim came. Dionne came. And Sec 3 michelle from PHS came too. And only DENG came from the guys side. Keith sprained his neck, Aaron was sick. Shall pray for their healing!

Celebrated Yining and Rachel's birthday. The headed for UCTM! I enjoyed the games and worship alot! hahas. And teaching by Yihui was very impactful. But was very very tired. And then Gideon spoke to usand prayed then headed to MACS(again) to have dinner. Saw the 3/8 people and den cong and weilun came and Gideon was explaining the plot of SCARY MOIVE 3 to us. hahas. it was funny! then i'm home and tired.

Accounted to my shepherd alot of stuff today. And i feel good!!! lalalalalas.

I LOVE ZIONITES!!!!!!

-- God gave us His best and He deserves the best from us.

just got back from ULTRAVIOLET!
not as high as i expected cause it ended so fast.
it was like from 8 to 930 only.

but the bassist was HOT la!! the way he played.
so after that walked to the bus stop and we were high and crazy and singing all the way!! took 38 to Tampines and sat with xueyong on the bus ride! XY!! dun be angry XDDDD
ate at TAMPINES food court and crapped alot and i really really enjoyed the fellowship.
took 22 back with keith, sihan, zijie(mickey mouse!!!!), gary. deng, kriss, aaron, seepeng, rach ton, sye kit, guo wei, desmond. and we were being very noisy. whatever la. hahas.

saw gar meng at ULTRAVIOLET!! that stupid poser!! hahas. NO MORE DOTA FOR ME!!!! (unless he treats me la!! haha)

Saw Vina, Lynda, Christabel and Cristal too!! hahas.

HOME NOW!!! i'll upload pics tomorrow! hahas

woke up at 12 noon today.
i watched tv until 3.30 am last night and ROCK STAR SUPERNOVA WAS HOT LA!!!!!!! hahahas

the top ten finalist all got one Gibson Electric Guitar EACH for getting into the top ten! and the guitars are all so nice la!! hahahas. I love Magni, Dillana, Storm and Ryan. Those who have STAR WORLD should watch it.

I stoned at home until 230 today. My mom cooked for my shepherd and i made jelly and she said it was nice!!! then i went to meet deng, lays, yihui and weilun at UNITED SQUARE pastamania to study. was quite productive but then as usual. there was laming. the 5 of us then took bus down to FAR EAST to shop for wei lun's stuff. took bus home with lun, deng and yihui and i'm hungry now. hahas.

ULTRAVIOLET TOMORROW! going with... ... alot of people!
I LOVE ZION!!!!!!!!

tuition in the morning!! i was like so sleepy and was spouting nonsense. teacher asked me how to get rid of the logarithm, i said to erase it =X.

after tuition slacked at home for about an hour plus.. then got my uncle to send me to NOVENA to meet lays and deng. later pete amd zhicai came and we had lunch at LJS with rachel. me and deng left. i cabbed down to my uncle's place for family get together and i studied while waiting for the rest and i was playing with kids the whole time la!! hahas. took some uber cute fotos and played catching =.="

im totally clueless about what i'm doing tomorrow. ahas.

---never expected so many things to happen in just a short period of time. but all i can do now is pray, cause i know there's nothing else i can do already. and I know i have to be strong, for all of them. But it's gonna be hard as i'm such an emotional person. God, I'm turning to You, and i know you will definitely make a way.

Regretted going to school today. it was a total bore and had to wait for timothy for such a long time just to get the tickets. Thank God for Louisa. She's the only one i can complain to about certain stuffs. Lunch-ed with her at AMK macs then came home to defrost the ham!! (serious!! you ask Louisa! hahahas. )

Went to meet up with keith and deng in AMK central and then to KFC to find lays, yining, jon quek and dionne! hahas. me and jon practiced worship at an unusual place. haas. So had CG and stuff and KEE SOON recieved the holy spirit (and he remembered my name) and DIONNE will soon get it!! hahas.

had some emergency to attend to. thank God for ZIONITES! especially the unit core team. and im so so tired now.

--keeping it strong (:

im quite angry but then im still very happy! cause 3 of our new believers coming for CG tomorrow and CG confirmation for tomorrow is 10!! lalalalas. yay!!

no doubt FOP rocked! met up with deng and yining to plan CG and discuss follow up. then the 3 of us bussed down to dhoby ghaut and i enjoyed talking to yining alot. walked arnd dhoby ghaut mrt that shopping place looking for something. then went to meet clarence and tiffany and we bought food and met up with desmond, aquila, syekit and jacob and den headed to indoor stasium and surprisingly there were very few people. keith came and then we sat outside crapping, playing a very exciting game of PIGGY and taking pics den headed inside! and God gave me the chance to talk to tiffany XDD loved the CCC lead singer and guitarist!! SHE like so rocked la and me and tiffany were totally amazed!!!

Don Moen's a charming guy! and his songs are all very nice. was quite lost during the sermon and i WAS listening then was crapping with desmond abt things in the past. hahas.

After FOP, headed to cuppage to eat at FAT MAMA's and the fellowship there was great too and we were all so high. cabbed with tiff, clarence and aquila and i didn't get another grounding! hahas.
so that was Sunday.

Saturday:
SERVICE DAY!!! hahas. slacked at home for a very long while. then left to somerset and met yinng and deng. walked to cuppage and tracie came running to us with a dontaion can. i sticked stickers all over her back. SERIVCE was rocking la!!! hahaas. praise and worship were great and EeLee preached well. i teared during altar call cause it was so ministering. lunch as usual and then to RC for DCTM and gideon's teaching was very relevant to me and i enjoyed it alot. watched LAKE HOUSE with.. alot of people and then dinner at macs and then to the playground for more fellowship and yushan's de-SAND-ents were there. ok.. lame. after i got home that night, there was such a big burden in my heart for some people and i immediately called kriss who gave me great encouragement!!! and we talked for 2 hours. and those hours were so wonderful with God being the centre of our conversation. yea.

Friday:
i didn't go school. lalalalas. went for PM and then dinner with alot of people and home XDD hees.

YUSHAN!!! take care of you monster eyes XDDD

God, maybe she shouldn't have said anything to me. But if i found out by myself it would be even worse wudden it? but then, i'm so glad that it is very very in the past. I caught myself thinking about it and then God, You spoke to me: My dear child, why care about what others think of You? I have made You for who You are, and Your my beloved and i'm not ashamed to call You my own cause i have handstiched you in you mother's womb and i've made You the way You are for a reason. I love You for who You are. You are mine. And God, i thank You for speaking to me at that moment, if not, i dunno what i would have done. Thank You God. I love You.

I thank God for today's FOP. The fellowship was great and i enjoyed every bit of it. I'm also very thankful for the waiting time we had in the stadium, cause if we did not have it, I wouldn't have had the chance to speak to that dear sister of mine. And thank You for annointing me with that verse to encourage her and another one to encourage my dear brother in Christ.

not gg school tomorrow. lalala. will elaborate more tomorrow.

everything looks from the outside. but if you search deeper within, you'll find out that things are not that alright. heart burdened. all i can do now is pray, for them. and God will bring us through.

New believers Unit care group today. it was quite enjoyable!!
had dinner at macs and then evaluation.

one thing i realised last night while letting my thoughts run wild. i really really would not be able to live without God.

if i didn't have God in my life i would probaly be a loner, suffering from depression, hating the world, people and my family, be a hot-tempered person with no patience and dun care about studies.

There was a period in my Christian life that i decided to leave God. Just forget about Him. and that was the toughest and lowest point of my life. I was depressed and crying everyday.

but since i have God, i feel so great!
I've got great friends, i never feel lonely, i experience pure joy daily cause im in the presence of God, i love people cause God first loved us and I love love love my family. I've learnt to oversome my are of impatientness and some other areas. I have a reason to study. Everything is for God. The family of God is the best group of friends you can find. it's undeniable. Being with God and in His presence is the greatest gift of all. Nothing else can satisfy me except being in the presence of God.

Nothing in this world can satisy me

Jesus You alone can fill me up

I could take the world and all it's treasures

But all these things will never be enough

It is Your love

It is Your goodness

It is Your kindness and compassion

That fills me up inside

It is Your grace

Your tender mercy

It is Your presence my life

That satisfies

-- Should I let go? If things are like this there's really no point hanging on. But it's jsut so so hard to let go.

im in a good mood today. i was practically smiling the whole day in school. oh, and i was telling everyone i'm in a good mood cause i'm having a good hair day. hahas.

i was quite freaked out during school cause some people were piercing their body parts. i really didn't like it. Shuwen gave me a piece of chocolate and now im addicted to it! shall go and buy tomorrow! hahahas. towards the end of the day of school, i started thinking about some stuff that caused me to have a burdened heart. for myself and 2 others, but then, leaving everythng to God XD (i need to talk to my shepherd)

after school headed down to RC to meet des for guitar lesson. so he taught me and andre. then andre left and me and des were playing songs together and gideon came and sang XD so played/improved/learnt guitar from 3 to 6 then left with min shian, des and tiffany. took bus home and it broke down after one stop and i was forced to cab home cause i was late.

today was the first day of my fasting and praying. will be fasting from eating from 7am to 5 pm on mondays to fridays for one month. for personal and spiritual breakthroughs and also for the retention of the new believers.

some people can be hypocrites at times. they tell us not to jusdge and criticise and the next thing you know they're doing it to you. i admit that i dun really like my school to the extent that i almost hate it. but i know God placed me in this school for a reason. and when people keep saying that i'm from a neighbourhood school and that their school is a government school therefore better, it's like indirectly insulting me. and everyone has their own thoughts and opinions about things. People should accept others for who they are especially people in the family of God. Love people for who they are cause God first loved us. i'm not pin-pointing anyone but i just wanna get the message across. We shudden judge people according to their looks, school, hobbies, interest etc etc. We, as children of God, are placed on earth for one reason, and that's to serve God and fulfil the Great Comission.

--maybe i should not have said anything to you. I should not have said anything about that particular person and thing, especially since i know how you feel about it. I'm sorry my friend. Really sorry.

today.
i learnt the meaning of CAREGROUP.

Caregroup is not just an event.
Not just a group.

Caregroup is about doing life together.
Caregroup is about being there for each other in times of need.
Caregroup is about being open.
Caregroup is accepting each other for who they are. No matter how different the person is, no matter what their family background is, their interest, their looks. But we all come together for one purpose, to serve God.

I mean, imagine if your CG members liked the same things as you, dressed the same way as you, were just like you. At first it will definitely be cool and all, but after awhile it will get boring.

Caregroup is about helping each other to grow in the Lord.
Caregroup is about Love.

I really enjoyed CG today despite attendance being very low. The fellowship and all was great. Although no worship, but then i could somehow feel God's presence in the place. I really really love my CG members alot. and i wanna take some time to affirm them. (i affirm coreteam first. hees)

Rachel: Shepherd! Thank God for being such a sacrificial and humble leader. Always so patient with us and encouraging us. I know how worried you were when you first took up the challenge to lead this grp of crazy and nonsensical people, but you've done well. Thank God for you.

Deng Deng: I already knew you even before we joined CGs. Thanks for always encouraging me in my studies, and in my spiritual life. Thanks for always making sure i don't fall sick, I really enjoy serving with you in this coreteam and also in the band. Although you always bully me, i dun mind! heehees.

Keith: one of the easier people to talk to. Thank God for you for always being so open. And im very encouraged by your life. despite going through family problems, your still concerned about the people around you. And just wanna let you know, Everything happens for a reason. and im very sure you'll get through whatever problems you cause you've got God in your life. your in my prayers dear brother!

Louis: despite being in the same school for 2 to 3 years already, i only got to know you during the Encounter camp and i've finally found someone lamer then me! ahas. Very encouraged by you on how you decided to come back to serving God and your desire to being people to know Him. Jiayou!!!!! I know you'll be a shepherd soon!

Yining: Know you ever since you came in and i have seen how you've grown from being a short tempered girl to becoming someone who has a passion for serving God. Someone who never gives up on bringing your friends closer to God despite the many times you've been rejected. You have definitely grown alot and I'm very happy to see you in UCTM and now even going all the way out to meet your NEWBS!!! JIAYOU!!! i love you alot!!!

---
School was a total bore and thank God i didn't lose my patience today. I didn't blow up or anything and iw as even patient with some stuff. But during AMATHS, i found the teacher very unreasonable and i started to cry cause i was so pissed. He refused to teach us. But i pretended i was sleeping cause i did not want anyone to know. So i went through the whole 3 periods without talking to him.

Assembly had some accapella grp come to our school. then student leaders meeting. calcualted our CIP points and stuff. Lunched in school with yining, rachel, louis , hwee en and yining's grp of friends. went to rix's house first to rescue deng and i love his new guitar la. Enjoyed CG alot! lalalalas. i love my caregroup luh. den after CG, we had fellowship with guozhang, jon and pete. ENJOYABLE!! so spastic la.. the whole thing and pete very kuku! lol.

Brought the CG to Gwen as she was sick and i hope she was touched. Thank God she has no parental persecution. And now there's finally a SEC ONE girl in MAYFLOWER! woohoo!had dinner with louis, keith and deng and we spent that time talking about spiritual stuff and i enjoyed it alot.

guitar lesson tomorrow XD and long day of school X(

i feel so degraded to the max. so useless. when i finally decided not to slack anymore, they give us nothing to do. life's an irony.